The underlining tensions that had been brewing since Kit’s true background was revealed had finally boiled over. Peter was at his wits end. For the past few episodes, we’ve seen him being more snide with Kit, and today that just blew up when he started lashing out his own feelings on others. He couldn’t understand why Joffrery wasn’t upset that a new student (Shin) already claimed first place for the Critique rewards, even securing a buyer for his work. And then it snowballed from there. Every quip, every counter was just adding more fuel to the fire that eventually led to a fiery crash.
To be clear, both Peter and Kit royally fucked up on their parts. Peter was unjustifiably throwing all his accusations and his own feelings onto, and Kit was sick and tired of hearing of him make excuses and fired back by imposing his own set of values. The root of the problem here, the part that Kit just doesn’t get, is that while he may not care about number one, for everyone else, they have something at stake. Some of them aren’t privileged enough to continue the arts just because they like it. They need to find success, they need to be number one. That’s why it ended up being Lili to be the one to beat Peter to the punch (literally) by giving Kit one hell of a slap. She understands exactly why Peter’s frustrated, but the way Kit brushed off the meaning of first place to them was not something she could ignore. After-all, out of all of them, she’s the one who only has a little as six months to prove her worth. Or else she’ll be forced to return home, take over the family business and get married. That is what at stake here.
So when you weigh the whole thing about how Kit’s final word was saying he doesn’t particularly find his artwork to be special, and how he went on about he doesn’t understand why they don’t just draw what they want, he’s missing the point. Now don’t get me wrong, I know it’s a very real thing to see artists, who makes extraordinary art, sometimes either be unsatisfied with their work, or otherwise wholly indifferent to it. But who they say it to matters. Because those kinds of comments are honestly the most insulting thing for anyone else who’s struggling all while pouring everything they have into their works. That’s the last thing they want to hear from these type of people, regardless if that person (such as Kit) admires their work. Frankly it would be better for everyone involved if the genius artist kept those feelings to themselves around the ones who struggle. I know for a fact I personally never had and still do not have the patience nor energy to spare listening to someone who’s successful go on and on about ‘not being good enough’, or saying something like “Oh this is average”, all while I’m busting my ass off, struggling to get the grades to graduate or make ends meet. So I get why Lili and Peter were both extremely upset and frustrated to hear Kit say that to them. While everyone knows this is typical of Kit, what he said today crossed the line, which is why Lili called him out for being a fool for not thinking about how hurtful his words were, and how inconsiderate he was about their feelings because they don’t have that luxury to do whatever they like. She even went as far to say if he can’t do that, then don’t bother being around others. (Way to eject him from the friend group…)
With how badly this all blew up, Kit actually went as far to leave the academy– which isn’t really great, especially for Lili’s case of her goal to beat him specifically for first place. It will also be interesting to see whether or not this group of friends had permanently become fractured, as I’m not sure if Peter could stomach being around Kit so as long as he feels insecure about his future as an artist. Lili on the other-hand, she certainly doesn’t have the time to be reaching out for him, but probable next best opportunity to meet him is going to be at Catherine’s place when she goes to finish the portrait.
With how the tension combusted at the end of the episode, it’s quite easy to forget about what happened in the first half. We got a bit of backstory on Catherine, about the time she first met Kit, and the one hobby she did have back then, which was actually making dresses. There was a hint to that on the day Catherine had caught Lili and Dorothy at the art shop. She mentioned at the time she was collaborating with a designer as a model for a dress. While she’s not allowed to be making dresses, I suppose this is her small way of still dipping her toe in that world.
But Lili’s words has definitely reached her heart, of realizing she’s not really happy with how things are. The one speck of joy, something which Kit actually did notice, was that she had sewn a dress for her doll. Her mother had scolded her for doing it, as it’s supposed to be a maid’s job, but it’s something that Catherine had fun doing as a child. What’s even sadder was how young she was when they were conditioning her to be the “perfect lady”, and here we have a kid thinking about deep questions like, ‘who Kit is to her’ and so on forth. But the one thing that did become her dream, was to wear the the Church’s family’s Silver Lily dress. The first time she saw it, it took her breath away and longed to wear it. So that puts into further context as to why she was so jealous of Lily beyond dancing with Kit. That dress became her sole dream as a child after she had to give up her sewing, the one hobby she did dip her toes in as a kid.
In the end, Catherine has certainly warmed up to Lili seeing that she’s really not the one at fault here. Lili’s humble and is not some obnoxious woman who is chasing Kit for his wealth as Catherine has seen so many do. In fact despite the way Catherine has treated her, Lili continues to be kind and earnest towards her. That’s why even after Catherine concluded that Lili has yet to realize that she’s in love with Kit too, she’s willing to have Lili finish the portrait. Goes to show despite her complicated feelings, Catherine has come around to at least begrudgingly accept Lili to an extent.
As for Lili, after being told by Catherine that she’s in love with Kit, Lili continues to be plagued with issues that deprives her of a good night sleep. After fleeing the scene where she happened to overhear Kit confess he loved her, Lili has been in intense denial of such. In fact the way she describes what she thinks of Kit, least the first portion of it made it appear it’s still more around the admiration phase. But then the second half was when it starts to teeter across the line of admiration to potentially a developing crush, with the way she can’t seem to stop looking and thinking about him.
While Kit absolutely has fallen for Lili, she on the other, is slower at realizing this. She’s definitely getting there, but I still feel like she’s still deep in admiration towards him, and has him locked in as a rival she needs and wants to beat. And after the shit he just said, it does create an underlining tension that won’t be resolved until she or someone else explains to Kit why his words were so hurtful. So we’ll have to see if Kit’s absence at the academy makes her long for him as a person, or simply miss the art and rivalry.
