….That episode was ROUGH but also probably one of the most solid episodes so far in storytelling and pacing. I honestly had to take some time to mull things over to fully understand what this episode had to say. They did such a good and respectful job with the subject matter where it didn’t feel like this was shoehorned in just for shock value. Because way too many other series insert stuff like this to just be shock value. Not only did it explain why Amo is the way that she is, but also seemed to help Rudo actually find someone who actually understood what he was going through. I was aware of Amo’s backstory due to some spoilers… but goodness, I don’t think I was actually ready for how the anime portrayed it. There were times where I just wanted it to end because I didn’t want to witness first-hand what Amo went through. And man, they really went above and beyond to demonstrate how utterly terrible and disgusting her backstory was. Literally all of the adults in her life failed her from her mom just straight up selling her and the disgusting and vile man who groomed and assaulted her. I was so utterly disgusted and horrified by the situation because it started feeling way too real. Even at the beginning I was feeling REALLY uncomfortable even if I knew where things were going.
Amo is such a tragic character, if not the most tragic we’ve seen so far. After seeing what she went through, it’s very hard to not empathize with her. Even when we didn’t know her story, we knew SOMETHING was wrong with her but I don’t think I was ready for how heart-breaking it actually was. It’s honestly no wonder why her perception of love is so warped as a lot of it must have been a coping mechanism after facing such traumatizing events. She probably had to disassociate and put on these rose-tinted glasses in order to keep from breaking or shutting down. The storybook drawing style was most likely showing her child-like naivete and her coping mechanism intertwining with one another while also demonstrating to the audience the gruesome reality of the situation without having to go too explicit. Because if I had to bare witness to what happened to her without the kid drawings, I don’t think I would have been able to continue. It’s bad enough KNOWING what she went through, I don’t need to see it in gory detail. So I’m truly thankful that they demonstrated the situation the way that they did but also didn’t make light of the severity. And when pushed to the absolute brink, she finally broke down and lashed out. After everything that happened to her, how can you expect her to be mentally stable. She definitely needs help. And I appreciate that while her backstory gives her the reason why she acts like she does, it also doesn’t justify what she did to the Cleaners. Hurt people, hurt other people a lot of the time. And what is the most sad is that I don’t even think she realizes the true pain and emotional anguish she put people through with her power. Especially since she’s state she doesn’t know what the people she puts her spell on actually sees.
I think deep down, Amo recognized that what her mom did was terrible despite her naive disposition. Considering in her child vision, her mom’s face was scribbled out. It almost made her mom look like a monster in that depiction, but honestly that wouldn’t have been that far off from the truth. And it honestly was incredibly saddening that even she realized that her mom sold her, but pushed that thought aside and tried to tell herself that it was for “her” sake of finding love to most likely protect what little was left of her sanity.
On first glance, it could have been viewed as to what the point was for her flashback, but it directly connects to the “angels” she saw flying up to the barrier separating the Sphere and the Ground. And I was SHOCKED that the “angel” was actually one of the masked people that killed Regto. While the mask was similar to the one we saw in the first episode, it does overall seem like a different mask. So while we know these masked people are related to one another, we don’t know if this specific masked person was the one to kill Regto. But I suppose it is highly likely that is the case. To which opens up more questions such as: “How did they cross the border? Are they originally from the Sphere or the Ground? What are they after?” Though I am glad that we’re finally starting to head more into the mystery of the first episode since it feels like we’ve been in set-up land for a while.
Upon learning that the masked guy is here on the ground, Rudo shifts to murderous revenge mode. It’s honestly really sad how quickly he can switch from having a nice moment with Enjin, to wanting nothing but to drag the bloody corpses of the people who wronged him to Regto’s grave. While he had that murderous look on his face, I was asking for someone to snap him out of it. Both thankfully and surprisingly, the person who snapped him out of it was Amo. It made sense though as the two actually shared a lot in common despite having to very different circumstances. The two of them were victims of circumstance that were beyond their control and became broken people because of it. And while the two had very drastically different experiences with being “taken in,” they had gotten their Vital Instruments from those people. Both of them even had encounters with the masked folks that completely changed their worlds. Ironically, Amo’s experience was a positive one where they were the ones to grace her with the boots and ultimately were the catalyst to get her away from the creep while Rudo’s experience left him falsely accused for Regto’s murder and thrown out by everyone around him. Though there is a silver lining to such a negative experience as if not for the masked people, Rudo probably wouldn’t have found his people in the Cleaners.
It absolutely broke my heart to see Amo come to terms to what that creep actually did to her. Not to mention realizing just how much she hurt Rudo and the others. Even going as far to say he didn’t need to apologize. Both of them were victims, lashing out reactively to stressors around them and taking things too far. Rudo seemed to understand that both of them were wrong in how they reacted and I’m glad that there was a mutual forgiveness between the two even if not spoken into exact words. When she talked about how people will only use their hands when it’s time to hit others and why the world never changes, that made me think back to what Regto said to Rudo before he died. He told him to change the world and I while we don’t know exactly what Regto meant by that, to me, it felt like those two sentiments are connected somehow. Though I have no idea how you’d even go about curing violence from the two worlds. However, I really like how Rudo offered to learn how to genuinely connect with others. The first step, learning to reach out to others for help since both of them have struggled and survived on their own for a long time. It’s a good first step and I’m proud that Rudo seems to be self-aware enough to realize that both of them NEED help. And I’m so glad that being able to talk with someone who also went through trauma helped to curb Rudo’s lust for revenge. It just shows that this violent path is not what Rudo is meant to go down and I do hope that he is able to grow past his violent tendencies in the future.
What also was interesting was how those Vital Instruments from the Watchman Series ended up filling a hole in both Amo and Rudo’s hearts. While I don’t fully understand why that is since the series is one of the big mysteries in this show, there is definitely something very special to them that goes beyond items that are from the same group. If I had to garner a guess, the series could cause whoever wields them to be a Giver despite whether or not they had the potential in the first place. Especially since I highly doubt the creep could form any real attachment to an item and he seemed to treat it as if those boots were literally the only reason he got his powers. Especially since Amo even made a comment that he most likely stole the boots from someone.
Speaking of which, I was sad that she didn’t end up going with the Cleaners… ESPECIALLY WHEN THE POOR GIRL GETS IMMEDIATELY JUMPED AS SOON AS THEY LEAVE. This girl cannot catch a break and I will be utterly broken if freaking Jabber killed her. If Amo isn’t okay, I will not be okay. But it looks like the next cour of the season will be focusing on a war between the Cleaners and the Raiders, so that’s definitely something to look forward to.
Despite the trauma we had to witness in this episode, this was probably the episode that has gotten me super locked into Gachiakuta. I feel like almost the entire first cour has been build up and it was losing me a little bit in the middle because it felt like we weren’t going anywhere. But this episode was the first one that made me feel like we were actually making progress both in the plot and character development-wise with Rudo. And if anything, this show is not afraid to go super dark with their premises while also not sugar-coating it or using it for shock value. I’m really happy with how they addressed this subject-matter and gave it the respect and seriousness it deserved. You have my full attention Gachiakuta, don’t waste it.
