KANAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Kana just keeps finding more ways to break my heart. Her backstory already had me emotional, but seeing it through Akane’s POV and how much it effects her in the present just ground up all the shattered pieces of my heart. We go from just absolute HYPE from Melt’s fantastic performance to just downright depression seeing how much Kana puts herself down after just being broken down by the child acting industry. Talk about a 180 in the most heartbreaking of ways emotionally. And here I thought we wouldn’t have that much more to Kana since the first season felt like it covered almost all the bases of her character. Clearly I was wrong as there are still facets to her that have yet to be fully explored.
We get a flashback where we see Akane and Kana’s first meeting and sheesh, it was a doozy. It was both cute and heartbreaking how Akane started out as such a big Kana fan since they’re the same age and looked to be incredibly successful. Not to mention that it was Kana who inspired her to act and even cut her hair to match. Even going as far as to get a similar hat that she wore in a poster. Moral of the story, don’t meet your heroes or don’t put them on such a high pedestal since they’re only human too and will disappoint you. Especially knowing that Kana was NOT NICE as a kid. Though their first meeting didn’t necessarily sour because of Kana’s bad attitude (partially at least) but because at this point, she’s already been beaten down by the child acting industry and the emotional and mental demands and expectations. It’s honestly really sad to see that just from how she reacted, she truly does love acting and it pains her to win not by her actual talent but because she sells. I couldn’t help but grimace at Kana slapping Akane’s hat off her head. I felt bad for Akane since Kana was the whole reason she got into acting in the first place but also for Kana because of how jaded she’s become at such a young age.
Though it is interesting that Kana lashing out at Akane isn’t actually what made her hate her, but because she isn’t putting out the same type of performance she used to. You would think that an encounter like that would be the reason Akane hated Kana, but it also inspired her to look deeper into Kana’s psyche. It’s honestly kind of scary how her obsessive behavior was cultivated at a young age with all her research and whatnot. There’s no argument that Akane understands Kana to a certain degree, but there’s still a lot that Akane doesn’t understand and I think she heavily underestimates just how much damage mentally Kana has sustained over her years of accumulated failures in her field. So much that her response to WANTING to match Akane’s acting caused a reaction similar to PTSD where she ended up stepping down in fear of overstepping.
I don’t think I have an issue with Akane personality-wise, I’m neutral about it, but the ways she does things is very off-putting to me. The thing that probably annoys me most is that after studying heavily into something or someone, she believes she knows them well enough to understand their circumstances. But there are still so many things she doesn’t know or wouldn’t know just from research. While she is aware that Kana is afraid of stepping completely into the spotlight, she doesn’t know everything and how much Kana’s previous attitude hurt her career and the emotional damage she’s sustained over feeling like no one needs or wants her. I appreciate how much of a Kana fan Akane actually is, but her trying to put down Kana’s way of doing things feels way too judgemental for not knowing all of her circumstances. Especially since she’s trying to force her into stepping back into the spotlight by provoking her and coming off as highly presumptuous. I don’t like how Akane seems to be very obstinate when it comes to the “right and wrong” of how to act. Especially putting down Kana being an idol isn’t “right.”
I can completely understand Akane’s reasoning… BUT the issue is time and place. Akane claims that Kana should demand the other actors to match her, but depending on the project, the others might not be able to do it like in Sweet Today. And the issue with Kana’s predicament is that she was often hired for things that doesn’t allow her to go all out. She even talked about it in the first season that if she were to go all out, it’d be even more obvious how bad at acting the others are and would draw more attention to it. We’ve already known that Kana specializes in matching the acting of those around her and in the first season, was portrayed as a survival tactic so that she’d be able to get more jobs, even if they were on the lower end. However, this season shows that it’s a double edged sword that while she may be able to get work this way, she isn’t able to shine. I don’t think there’s anything outrageously wrong with how Kana does her acting, especially since whether or not she shows her acting prowess feels very dependent on the type of job she manages to get. It’s definitely not a black or white situation since I do think just like the mangaka working with the scriptwriter is a very case by case situation.
It’s honestly heartbreaking to see how much Kana wants to take the stage, but feels like if she does, she might overstep her boundaries and the fear of rejection paralyzes her. She’s so focused on making the project the best it can be, but smothers herself in the process. And just as Aqua says, she is absolutely stunning when she puts on a performance that clearly says “LOOK AT ME.” So seeing her actively hold herself back makes me so sad. Kana has such a deep rooted fear of failure again and being rejected causes her to curl into herself, which is honestly really relatable. I thought she already got her second chance when she was fully able to embrace being the center for B-Komachi, but it looks like it still needs to be addressed in her acting career. She just needs to be reassured somehow that it’s okay to go all out when the time calls for it.
This whole episode has been super symbolic with the shadows and lights in regard to Kana and Akane respectively. There were so many scenes where it showed Akane being lit up by light and Kana was constantly shown in shadow. Even when the light was being blasted in front of Kana, the way that it was portrayed showed her back completely cast in shadow. In the scene when they were kids, there was a shot that seemed to make her shadow very eye catching. Which could symbolize that even at that point, she was a shadow of her former self and was on the path to her acting being akin to that of a stagehand that lurks in the shadows to make sure the production goes smoothly. It’s all very tragic for her as a character and seeing her usually energetic self shrink because of her fear is just incredibly heartbreaking to me. SHE IS THE SUN. LET HER SHINE DANG IT.
This episode made me super emotional and Kana literally keeps finding ways to make me almost cry. My heart absolutely breaks for this girl probably because of how relatable her feelings are. I may not like Aqua and Akane together in a romantic sense, but I do think they work well as friends or teammates. Because I can respect them teaming up to try and bring Kana out of her trauma and fear. This episode was probably one of the hardest ones to watch and not go and immediately see what comes next because the temptation is STRONG. Probably because it retains to Kana and I just want the best for her and not close herself off to great opportunities to show her that she is allowed to SHINE.
