What a great episode! I was rather impressed how much was packed into it, and we got so much goodies to dig into it!
Saki had a very shrewd moment in the beginning of the episode where he duped Hotaru into thinking they had been locked on the roof. He just wanted to spend a little more time with her, but the funny part is that he got way more than he had bargained for. Hotaru’s so endearingly direct and isn’t shy when it comes to skinship, it takes him by surprise– but a happy one. When he offered her his sweater because she was cold, Hotaru was exceptionally adorable with the way she was like: HOLD ME TIGHTER! And freaking snuggles herself against him so that they can share it. Hotaru’s so freaking CUTE!
Though the good thing about the extended alone time they had together was Saki wanted to see what had been bothering her for the last few days. Thanks to that she told him about the situation of how her coworker wanted to be friends with him, and thankfully it wasn’t an issue. He even offered to turn down the offer in her steed so that it doesn’t make things awkward at work, but after Hotaru realized that Saki was more important, she decided to take it upon herself. Fortunately her coworker didn’t have any romantic interest in him, it’s just that he looked alike to an idol she’s obsessed with. It made me think, ‘Oh man, if she had seen him with long hair, she might have fainted on the spot,’ hahaha!
Next it was Hotaru’s turn to take Saki on a date. She worked very hard to plan it all out, but it didn’t quite go the way she had hoped it to. The movie she knew Saki would like ended up being one that was scary to watch. It was actually really sweet to see him offer to leave, but since she insisted on staying, only was unable to even focus on the movie because she was excited and terrified at the same time! Then when it came for lunch, the place Kyo recommended for them to go to ended up being closed, so they went to a ramen place that Saki knew she wanted to try, and they were at least able to enjoy the food there. At least the one thing that probably did work out was how when they were shopping, both of them bought each other the same gift (a steamed bun keychain)! But at the end of the day, they both had fun, and that’s all that matters.
Hearing Hotaru say dates are fun actually came as a bit of a surprise, but also as a huge relief to Saki. We got a glimpse into his mind, of how his previous exes would say things along the lines of, “Sorry, but you’re scaring me. Dates with you are always so weird.” Which is pretty harsh– except, if we think about how Saki has a bad habit of catering everything he does to the one of interest to such an extreme, it’s an understatement why they would say such a thing. It’s not the prettiest thing to see, but you can see they were uncomfortable with the way he was approaching things. This does make me wonder how it varied from ex to ex, as that case was probably an instance of overbearing doting, where as the former at the cafe suggested he was incapable of loving anyone. Either way, it’s safe to say his past relationships were undoubtedly a hot mess. But now that he has Hotaru, who genuinely enjoys spending time with him, it was a huge relief.
However that relief also comes with the existing fear that has his heart in a choke-hold. Ever since he met Hotaru, he’s been happier than he has ever been, but at the same time, it becomes scary because of the fear of losing it. Time and time again, he has both had people leave him, or be taken away from him, and he’s at a loss of what to do to put an end to that cycle.
This episode also explained further why Saki behaves the way he does and why he has no interest in making friends. His frustration and heartbreak of his family not giving him the same attention as they do to their patients, has created this twisted idea that ‘friends’ are just another entity that takes time and feelings away from the people who should be the most important to them, such as their own family or lover. On top of that, during the moment when he was most vulnerable, he opened up about how matter how good he is at his studies or sports, or how nice he is, in the end everyone has always chosen someone else over him. That’s why he feels like the only thing he has left to give is himself as a whole, but also has no interest in making friends. He’s tired of being the one at the bottom of the list of priorities, and getting hurt as result of it.
And man, I’m so glad that Saki actually verbalized this because it made Hotaru realize two things. One, this enlightens her on his biggest insecurity and explains why he behaves the way he does. And two, it instinctively drew out her true feelings for him to the point she ended up confessing him on the spot. It was such a nice confession too, but too bad he was barely conscious and this might get passed off as a fleeting dream– SO FOLLOW UP ON THIS HOTARU! DON’T JUST ASSUME HE GETS IT! YOU NEED TO TELL HIM AGAIN THAT YOU LIKE HIM. Either way, it’s great to see that it didn’t take Hotaru twelve episodes to work out how she felt about Saki!
Actually now that I think about it, it’s a good thing she figured this out before she has that inevitable childhood reunion with Sohei. This should help make things somewhat less complicated… I say that mainly because even if they do officially start dating, Saki’s insecurity will continue so as long as it sticks to him.
The other good thing about this timing, is that will probably help Hotaru work through her past trauma as well. We got a brief flashback indicating what kicked off the whole shitstorm back in Elementary. I’m not surprised by the slightest to see it had to do with a messy crush. Of course the girl wanted her to “help her out”, but either Hotaru refused, or worse Sohei had a crush on Hotaru (if anything, this is most likely to be the case) and rejected her friend, fun stuff. But by understanding what it feels like to be in love, and the sort of emotions ones goes through, she can start working out how things turned out the way it did, and hopefully be able to get the much needed closure she needs to move on from it.
