Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable Episode 7: Toshikazu Hazamada (Surface)

*”Gureato” doubles*

Didn’t I tell you Tamami is irrelevant? Poor guy went to the hospital without anyone knowing. Sorry, man.

But before he gets all hurt, he tells Josuke and Koichi about another Stand user he knows about. Someone named Hazamada who is actually in their school. He’s closely related to an incident of a friend whose eye was gouged out by himself, but Tamami explains that a Stand must have made him do that. After insulting an idol, or anime, or something. Idols are serious business. My heart breaks a little whenever someone insults the #1 idol Nico Nico Nii from Love Live! I love her. 🙁

This episode may not be the most exciting, but I still thought it was fun. Also, it just shows how frustrating it was to not have cellphones in the 90’s. Josuke and Koichi looked around the school for Hazamada and checked his class but couldn’t find him. So they decided to check his locker and see that his bag is there, so he’s still at the school. They try to see if the bow and arrow is there, but it’s filled with a bunch of other things. Instead, Josuke actually finds a huge mannequin used for art. All of a sudden, it’s wooden hand shifts into a human one. And then, it turns into…Josuke!

So Hazamada’s Stand, Surface (don’t pay attention to the subs), can turn into a copy of someone else. And whatever movement Surface makes, the person that’s being copied makes as well. So instead of being a puppet, it’s actually a puppet master. Surface and Josuke have a little scuffle, Surface making Josuke hit Koichi badly. It also tries to make Josuke pop a vein with a mechanical pencil, and when hearing a loud sound and seeing Josuke collapse on the floor, he thinks he defeated him. Now it and Hazamada plan to take out Jotaro, so they’re going to make Surface call Jotaro as Josuke and tell him to meet him in front of the station in fifteen minutes. Back at the school, Josuke is actually okay. Koichi had used Echoes and stuck a “crush” sound effect on the side of Hazamada’s head to trick him. The boys heal up, and they rush out in the direction the two others went, but first they need to call Jotaro, so they find a payphone.

Not having cellphones is a pain in the ass, but Jotaro actually does have one, we just don’t get to see it until a little later. Diamond is Unbreakable takes place in the late 90’s, but Araki wrote this in the early 90’s, so I don’t think there were many cellphones back then when he wrote this? Because I’m sure more people had cellphones in 1999. Then again, I was about 4/5 years old at that time so I don’t remember much. I actually remember pay phones better.

So Josuke and Koichi try to call Jotaro but the line is busy because he’s talking to Fake!Josuke. He then leaves so the boys have to make their way to where Hazamada went. Then we see Hazamada being a whiny baby about girls not paying attention to him and instead staring and fangirling at “Josuke”. Grrr why don’t they like me, why won’t they say bye to me, why does my hair suck, wah wahhh. He punches surface and hurts his hand and makes it bleed, then he touches someone motorcycle and gets blood on it. The guy that owns the motorcycle gets pissed, but then he and his friend start making fun of Hazamada. Hazamada’s about to stab them until Josuke and Koichi arrive to stop them. Making Surface lose his right hand with a bottle, the boys learn the other two are heading to the station.

So with more tricks up their sleeve using Echoes, Josuke and Koichi make it to Jotaro (*blows kiss*) first and explain what happened. Josuke has another quick encounter with Surface where he almost stabs Jotaro with his pen. But then the guys before find Hazamada because Josuke told them where he was, and then they kick his ass. We get a quick look at Chili Pepper with the bow and arrow, but the guys don’t notice him.

Just like Tamami, I don’t care about Hazamada. But again just like Tamami, we’ll see him again later with a less important role. That’s something different about Part 4, is that there aren’t any one-time villains. They’ll become recurring characters, which I think is a little fun. Unlike in Part 3, once a Stand user was defeated we never saw them again, minus Hol Horse and the Oingo Boingo brothers. Nothing with the bow and arrow yet, but next week should be fun be-

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo