Osomatsu-san Episode 11 [ Merry Christmas…But Not Really.]

Oh boy. the Christmas episode. Given this show’s track record I’m sure it’s going to be amazing. And by amazing I mean terrible.

So how was it this week? Well…it certainly was about and took place on Christmas I’ll give it that. Every story involved Christmas. There sure wasn’t any false advertising. And there were a LOT of little stories. Normally this show has 1-3 stories, but this one had like….10. Were any of them good? Well, as a special Christmas episode, I will review every little segment. I know, i’m a great person. More than I can say about anyone in this show. So let’s begin.

The first little bit is about the gang acting like zombies because they don’t have anything to do on Christmas Eve. That’s really all this first part had going on.

The second story was interesting. It was about one of the brothers dressed up as a black santa and sitting down next to a couple on a date on a park bench. They talk about how they’re on a date and he slowly asks them what their plans are. Confused and a little disturbed, they tolerate him until he asks what they’re doing next. When she admits she’ll probably go home with the boyfriend, the brother catches fire. And that’s the end of that one.

The next one has Karamatsu chilling out saying he doesn’t need a girlfriend. A girl pops up and makes him spend money….That’s..literally all that happens.

Story four is the best out of all the parts of this episode. The fourth story involves the animation from the first episode (thank god) and it involves the girl being hit on and going on dates with Bishonenized versions of all of the brothers. The first one builds her a tree made of lights, the second one makes the lights in the city spell out “I love you”, the third one gives her a dress she wants and beats up people so she doesn’t have to wait in line, the fourth one saves her from the freezing snow, the fifth one makes it snow, and the sixth one makes her fly.

Finally instead of fighting over her, they all decide to share her because it’s Christmas.

This part reminds me of the first episode and just makes me sad that the quality put into this didn’t stay, even though it was meant as a parody. (Sigh) oh well.

Part 5 Involves the six sadly exchanging presents as they have every year because they have nobody else to hang out with. After switching, they end up all giving each other porn.

Story number six is about Iyami pretending to be the Matchstick girl selling matchsticks on the street. He isn’t selling any, and lights one and imagines a terrible scene with the “Dayon” guy and then gets hit in the head by one of the brothers.

Story number 7 (yeah, I told you there were a lot) is about the Dayon guy and the guy with no shirt having a Christmas party with just the two of them. They get drunk and end up having sex in a love hotel. Yeah…can’t say it was on my list of things I wanted to imagine in my life to imagine these two bumping uglies.

Story number 8 involves Jyuushimatsu waiting up for santa. Everyone tells him that he’s crazy for believing in him. They go to sleep but jyuushimatsu eventually sees him and tries to wake everyone up. When they don’t listen, he waits until santa arrives and then ties him up and shows him to everyone.

Story number 9 is about the six eating at their usual oden spot talking about how they wish they had girlfriends. the short guy then tells them that that is impossible because they’re losers. Jyuushimatsu then offers up that it’s whats inside that counts. As if to dispel that, the flag guy comes on a boat with a bunch of hot chicks flaunting money.

Before I get to the next scene I will just say this. It’s a bit off topic, but girls like this, who are swayed by money? I wouldn’t WANT to be associated with them. I don’t feel jealous of these people who have girls because of money, I feel pity because these are the people that once they lose their money, everyone deserts them. Fuck this moral.

Story number 10 (jesus christ….haha…get it? Because it’s a Christmas episode?) is about the brothers begging that one girl they know to go out with them. This is something they apparently do every year and she tells them no. That’s…pretty much all that happens. It’s kind of sad on both parts really.

And finally we are at our last one, which is actually an after credits sequence. Karamatsu asks the Dayon guy at the counseling room if next season they can be less of a jerk to him. And they basically say no.

So after 11 stories I can say this.

7 Sucked
2 were passable
2 were good.

That’s really really sad. Most of these shorts I was sitting here in dumbfoundedness that they could mostly suck so much. Still, Let me give the breakdown.

1. Was pointless, stupid, and weird. 5/10
2. Was actually kind of amusing and was one of the only passable ones. I liked his emotionless face and not knowing what he was going to do next. 7/10
3. Stupid, Pointless, and terrible. Leave Karamatsu alone. 2/10
4. Definitely the highlight of this episode. I always laugh when they do the reverse harem parodies. In my opinion, they’ve been the best part of the show. More like this please! 8/10
5. Weird, a little depressing, but the ending made it okay with them all getting porn. That was…mildly amusing? 6/10
6. Strange…weird…pointless…and boring. If you wanted to do a matchstick girl parody…you kind of sucked at it. 3/10
7. I never like the stupid dayon and fat guy shorts. They’re always stupid and mean spirited. Also..now I had to hear them making sex noises…ew. 3/10
8. (scratches head) it’s kind of funny he kidnapped santa and proved he was real…but honestly..this short should have been the entire episode with a story based around accidentally kidnapping santa and the gang has to save christmas. They didn’t do enough with this concept. 4/10
9. The message about money getting the girl is VERY mean spirited and I did not like it at all. 2/10
10. Begging for her to be their girlfriend was just kind of sad. And like….not an ironic funny sad. It was depressing, but at least it wasn’t violent. So…there’s that I guess. 3/10
11. Being mean to Karamatsu is predictable and stupid. 2/10Well, that’s enough of this crap this week. I feel like I have to watch a REAL Christmas special now. You know, one that doesn’t suck. Peace out.

    -Hideki