“Goodnight, Haise. I’ve had enough of dreaming.”
Impression
Is it happening? I think it’s happening.
But before that, a couple of thoughts on Eto and Ui. Firstly, Eto – what exactly are her feelings towards Haise? What exactly is she after with regards to him? All we know is that she’s interested in him, but what is her overall aim? It’s really hard to tell what she thinks of him or what her endgame is – after all this time they finally meet as ghouls and not humans, and yet all she’s done is hit him once and instruct Kanae to continue fighting him. I thought she stepped in because she thought Kanae wasn’t doing her job properly?
As for Ui, I was pretty confused by the drinking game analogy. I read that short memo from MS about how reciting the names of train station stops is some sort of drinking game, but why was Ui doing it whilst casually walking through Lunatic Eclipse? Is it some sort of OCD? It seemed like he was reciting it, realized he made a mistake and started over again – over and over until it covered entire panels on the page. Is it his way of coping with all the blood and death around him or something? What about his relationship with the late Princess Hairu? And perhaps most importantly, why was he trusting enough to not suspect Furuta, who’s supposedly much weaker than both Hairu and Kijima and yet was the only one left alive?
I can’t believe Kaneki has wanted to die this entire time. I don’t know if it means he’s suicidal, because that implies he’d take active steps by himself to bring about his own death, but from his words this chapter it feels like he definitely wouldn’t mind dying if that’s the way it has to be – which is honestly a really, really tragic take on life. If child Kaneki represents the subconscious of both Kaneki Ken and Sasaki Haise, then this is probably an accurate reflection of how he truly feels. It was a confusing chapter in general, not least of all because of the discussion between Haise and his inner Kaneki, but this is my take on it. Kaneki has wanted to die, all this time. He’s gone through a fuckton of suffering, and tragically he wasn’t a stranger to it before he became a ghoul – because he was abused by his mother when he was a child. What the actual fuck? Wasn’t it his aunt who ruined and indirectly drove his ‘hard-working’ and overworked mother to death? Even when Kaneki took Rize on a tour of his memories, his mother was portrayed as a victim all this time. Of course, there is no way Ishida didn’t plan this, just like every other god damn genius plot twist – look at this, it’s the last time Kaneki spoke to his subconscious about his mother.
Fucking Ishida. Kaneki was telling a lie back then, we all knew that much. But back then, I’m sure all of us interpreted the lie as being his way of hiding how she was being slowly overworked to death. How he was hiding the real circumstances behind his family situation. But no, that wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. He was hiding the fact that he was being fucking beaten at home.
As a side note, today is the world day for the prevention of abuse for children.
At any rate, he’s wanted to die for some time now. But he wants to die in style. A precondition exists for his death. And the fight against Arima was the best chance he had to do that. But he messed up, and ended up staying alive as a pseudo-quinque for this strange, socially awkward CCG member. As he has spent an entire lifetime not being loved (I swear to god, if his friendship with Hide turned out to be fake this entire time, this fanbase will probably cry tears of blood) his ‘Haise’ persona was a ‘dream’ which he used to give himself a chance to be loved by the people around him. And along the way, he ended up liking it – he ‘mistakenly began to once again desire’ despite having previously lost the will to live. But Haise knows he was nothing more than a sweet, temporary dream. And if he’ll die to Kanae and Eto like this, it’s frankly just as shitty a death as Hairu’s – there’s no point to a death without style like this. So Kaneki has had enough of dreaming. If he’s going to die at this rate, and in this way, he’d rather stop dreaming and fight back. He’s had enough of dreaming. It’s time for ‘Sasaki Haise’ to go to sleep. It’s time for Kaneki Ken to wake up.
Haise made a point earlier when talking about the books Eto wrote.The person who wrote those stories see nothing of value in the world and hates it. You can clearly see that with how she treats Kanae as a thing that will die.
As for Haise, he was indeed happier even if he was just a dream, because in the end he found stories about heroes who die at the end tragic, while Kaneki loved them. No matter how screwed up his situation was he still found value in living while Kaneki had given up hope long ago.
It was pretty obvious now that Kaneki really did want to die when he saw Arima as he himself states he saw “beauty in death, not life” as he saw Arima kill people.
You know it seems at this point Kaneki rationalizes abuse as a form of affection on some level, as he called Arima his father, his mother who he loves and respects (Mentioned once without touching his chin), and even Touka has been shown to get aggressive and physical with him. Heck even Rize on some level. Yamori was the one time where he wasn’t able to delude himself.
I can’t remember the exact details, but was Kaneki supposed to be analogous to the protagonist of The Black Goat’s Egg? It would make the quote from last chapter (‘my dear lost one, your parents failed in raising you’) applicable to Kaneki too, even though they were supposed to be directed to Kanae. It might have been Dear Kafka though, which would fit Kaneki just as well given the whole ‘metamorphosis into a giant insect’ aspect.
As for him rationalizing abuse as affection, that is most probably the case if he’s known nothing but abuse ever since he was a child. It’s really sad to think that when Rize revealed herself as a ghoul at the start of the story, Kaneki wasn’t just thinking ‘oh shit, why me?’ but instead ‘oh shit, why is it always me?’
If their needed any more prove about Kaneki
s live being shit - look no futher. Ishida hinted the idea of Kanekis mother being a bad person quit early, with Kaneki reallysing at the end of Tokyo ghoul that he became the same as her. The reavalition of her being abusiv was a shock, but in a sence it makes sence now that Kaneki has the relationship he has with Arima. A wish to die would explain his rekless, berserk-like fighting style of Part 1, espacilly with his Kakaju. Speaking of which, now that Ken has ” woken up” I guess he is going to use the centerpiede again and kill Kanae. Kanae seems to have a limited livespan left anyway, if I interpretate Etos dialoge right. I guess Etos Kagune eats him from the inside and Noro is the only vessel that can live in staple condition. At least that is what I think.I wonder if it’ll be Centipede? I also thought that at first, but his hair looks like it’s turned completely black (instead of all white, which is usually what indicates a transition to his inner Kaneki). Centipede also implies that he’ll be completely mindless and berserk, whereas here he seems to have ‘accepted’ more of his subconscious self and is transitioning from one lucid personality to another.
As for Kanae, I’m still not a Kanae sympathizer but I don’t want her to die. If she has a relatively happy ending and is able to go home with Tsukiyama that’s probably for the best.