Triage X Episode 1 [Quick Look]
Do you like generic terrible fanservicery shows with generic characters, stupid premises, and lots of violence? Well then, do I have a show for you. Welcome to Triage X where the rules don’t matter and the points are made up. Oh well, without further delay, here we go.
So the episode starts up with a dude on a motorcycle busting into a gangster’s stronghold along with a bunch of HUGE boobed girls. And no, its not one of those hot fanservice shows, i’m talking Eiken level here.
So yeah, the gang of them bust in and start shooting all the random gangsters until then make it to the kingpin.
So, another show about a rogue group of people killing people that the law can’t touch eh? Hmm…I wonder what these guy’s schtick is?
Ah….so we’re going with medical terms. Gotcha. Yeah. Apparently this assassin group is medical themed. Get it? Cause the show is called “Triage”? Haha ahhh they’re so witty.
The good guy gives the crime boss a gun with a single bullet offering him the chance to kill himself in retribution. Of course the guy uses the gun to try to shoot the main guy, but that doesn’t work and he’s killed, and then they blow up his mansion.
We cut back to the headquarters where one of the other chicks with huge boobs (seriously only like 2 girls have normal sized boobs in this show) asks him why he gave the target a gun and he starts to go on this existential rant and has a second voice inside of him and talks about proving his own existence and his conscience and blah blah blah.
Wait a second…an assassin who has a second voice inside of him and says terrible one liners before shooting high profile people and is part of an organization with an X being involved?
Where have I seen this before?
GODDAMN IT! I knew I saw this show before! It’s a much worse, much more fanservicery version of Black Cat.
Ah crap. Now I want to see Black Cat again.
Then we cut to a guy who’s groping one of his informants. Why? I don’t fucking know. We didn’t have enough boobs in this episode I guess
Then we cut to, who I think, is the only interesting and fun character in the show, the classmate of the main guy. She’s funny, caring, and her boobs don’t have their own zip code, which compared to everyone else in this show, makes her the hottest character.
She likes the main dude and wants his dick. Unfortunately he has to run off for another mission.
That mission? To kill that guy from before’s son. Why? Is he as much of a douchebag as his father?
Ah. yep. Course he is. He’s busy whipping a girl because having emotional depth other than “asshole” would be asking way too much of this show.
Needless to say, the main guys show up and shoot him. In the ensuing firefight, a hostage gets killed and the bad guy’s lawyer escapes.
We then find out why the main dude is so fucked up and has such an issue with himself.
Apparently a bunch of years ago he had a best friend who he tried to prevent during a terrorist attack. He got fucked up but the friend became brain dead so they basically harvested his organs so that the main dude could live. Through a …dare I say it…Triage (name drop). And with that revelation, the episode ends.
My god. This show. There is nothing original or good about this show. It’s like every by the numbers fanservicery show that’s ever been made, and with the exception of the schoolmate character, I don’t give a single shit about any of them. Seriously, with the exception of her, every single girl has boobs that I swear would cause them horrible back pain later in life.
Head: The plots been done before. Broody guy? Check. Voice of other person inside of him questioning his motives? check. Group outside the law doing what has to be done? Check. Ugly fanservice? Check. I don’t care about the plot of this show and I really don’t care where it’s going. 3/10
Eye: Here’s the biggest killer. If your show is BAD, at least make the girls hot. And this show even failed at that. The only girl that’s remotely attractive is the girl without two giant meat balloons stapled to her chest.
Trust me, i’m no knocking big boobs. But there’s a way to make them look attractive. Kubo Tite does that well. As does Eichiro Oda. This….this is not attractive and the characters make me more recoil than anything. 3/10
Heart: I don’t feel connected to a single character (except the girl). I don’t care about this guy’s vendetta against….whatever the hell he’s doing. I don’t care about the organization. I don’t care about any of these insane girls who are doing stuff because of reasons. I didn’t feel a damn thing the entire episode. Yes that includes when the explosives girl sings for some reason that makes no sense.
Overall Score 3/10
That’s…that enough for me. I can’t do any more. This show already made me disgusted, bored, and tired all at the same time. And i’m not doing another Vanadis. I’m not. I’m done with this show. No. Thank. You.
Blogging: Dear Sweet Jesus No