Madan No Ou To Vanadis Episode 12 (Why Won’t You Die?!)

OH MY GOD WHY ISN’T THIS SHOW DONE YET?! GAH I HATE IT SO MUCH! (Cough) Um…sorry. I just…I really hate this show. But like I said, there’s only two episodes more to go. So…might as well review the second to last one. So…Pfff…here we go. (waves little flag) yayyyyy.

Hopefully this episode won’t have anything as stereotypical as it has in the-

(slams face on desk) OF FUCKING COURSE IT HAS A BOOB COMPARING SCENE! This episode literally starts out with them comparing boobs. And it’s so out of fucking context! it’s like “episode starts. BAM. fucking comparing boobs.” I mean, they couldn’t do any kind of inversion on that trope? Like at all? Like maybe they want to grope the small boobed girls? Or maybe they compare butts? or maybe…THEY DON’T FUCKING HAVE A COMPARISON SCENE IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO RESCUE THE KINGDOM JKLJKLADFSJKLDJASLFSAFJLFKJDLSAFJK. I FUCKING HATE THIS SHOW.

How far am I in this episode?  WHAT?? 1 minute 15 seconds?! Oh fuck. Kill me now.

So they head to a town where they talk about the different ways they can enter that town to prove to the world that the prince is alive, and it’s really a princess. because once again, this show is retarded.

Apparently there’s 3 ways to get there. two out of the way ways, and 1 way in the middle of town that would be stupid to go to. So they actually pick one of the not stupid ways (that’s not going to end well is it?)

But not before Tigre’s old manservant tells Tigre he’s coming along and he’ll follow him anywhere.

…

…….

He’s going to die isn’t he?

Like….it’s so obvious, it actually hurts. Whatever. I’ll just wait for it.

So they find the secret place, and they make it a few feet, and then baddy mc Sabertooth shows up. Because he’s a jerk like that I guess.

And then a random strong bad guy shows up and starts to fight Tigre basically telling him that he gonna die.

So this guy is badass, we know nothing about him, and he can probably kill Tigre.

….

……

He’s going to die this episode isn’t he?

Let’s see…they fight….and….. he swings at Tigre..old man jumps in front and..

Whoop, yep, crushed by rocks. In um….like…. 5 minutes. Good job.

So yeah…roof collapsed, everybody else ran away. But…but did Tigre get crushed by rocks too?! Please, oh please!

(throws hands in air)

I fucking hate this show. I Hate every goddamn second of this fucking stupid ass Gary Stu piece of shit series. I hate it so so much. I would rather have a root canal than watch this. If someone bought this series for me for my birthday, I would break the dvd, put the pieces in a blender, and make them snort it.

And if you think the pain is over, oh no. .Oh no. This unimportant old guy character who showed up a few times, WON’T FUCKING DIE. It’s like Trinity from Matrix 3 up in this bitch.

He dies

and he dies

AND HE FUCKING KEEPS DYING

It takes this guy 3 1/2 minutes to die. I would find this to be kind of dramatic, if the ENTIRE THING wasn’t him sucking Tigre’s dick. The monologue is NOTHING BUT HIM TELLING HIM HOW AWESOME HE IS. It’s like the writer went “Hey audience, did you get the idea that you’re supposed to like this guy? Cause you are!”

So after he finally dies, the army minus Tigre (cause they think he’s dead) marches on until the reach the center of town which has the last entrance. And of course Tigre just happens to show up there in a magical explosion…cause you know..why the fuck not?

Then Tigre gets sad cause his old guy friend is dead.

End of Episode.

My god. Just when you thought this show couldn’t get any more stereotypical or stupid they up their game. It’s like..i knew EVERYTHING that was going to happen in this episode. Absolutely NOTHING surprised me. Literally the MOMENT the old guy said “I’ll stay with you always” I was like “That guy’s gonna die this episode.” Hey show? Know what would be REALLY unexpected? Having Tigre or Elen having to sacrifice themselves and they have to go on without them. You know, some kind of sacrifice. or ANYTHING. ANY KIND OF THOUGHT, ORIGINALITY OR ANYTHING would have been appreciated.

This show is the antithesis of good writing. It’s like if you took every single infuriating anime trope and put it into one show. There’s NOTHING good about this show. From every conceivable angle it’s terrible. The characters are shit, the plot is confusing and garbage, the setting is overused, their lore is retarded, and by god, their NUDITY ISN’T EVEN SEXY. They can’t even sell it on THAT.

If this series were a video game, Zelda CD-I and ET for Atari would have to have had a baby. I hate every single moment I watch this show. It pains me to watch this show. It actually pains me to know that THIS can get funding. THIS can be produced and not one person out of the entire animation company looked at it and went “Wow…this is SHIT.”

This episode was slow, painful, boring, and during the “serious” scene where the old guy dies I kept finding myself saying “FUCKING DIE ALREADY” at least 5 times.

I don’t care about the lat episode. It’s going to be fucking terrible. i KNOW it’s going to be fucking terrible. But i’m going to watch it. I’ve seen TWELVE episodes of this shit, what the fuck is one more?

Episode 2/10

Only reason it got that was I got some Lourie Semi-Nudity.

-Hideki