Madan No Ou To Vanadis Episode 8 (The Continuing Adventures of Gary Stu)

Every single week I review this damn show, and every single week it sucks just as hard as the last time. I’m not expecting this to get better, not even a little bit. And this episode surely didn’t disappoint me on not making me want to murder small children.

All right…i’m up to episode 8…i can do this.

The episode starts up with Roland in Tigre/everyone else’s tent. He tells them that he’ll go back to the capital and explain things to the king.

So he goes back and it’s decided by a creepy old guy that he should die. So how do they kill him? Execution? Assassin.

NO.

THEY KILL HIM WITH MOTHER FUCKING POISON BEES

I just….(rubs temple)

1. Why did the writer not have him die in the battle if they were just going to kill him 2 minutes into this episode?

2. Why did you kill him when the MAIN VILLAIN OF THE SHOW SAID THAT WAS A DICK MOVE?

1. WHY BEES?

I’m not watching Number 6. WHY BEES? and HOW bees?

I just..ow my head hurts.

Meanwhile stupid mcbigtits has to leave because of a message she received from another war maiden asking her for help.

OH GOD! That means i’m going to be stuck here alone with Tigre?! OH DEAR SWEET JESUS WHY?!?

Oh geez. now we’re stuck with Tigre. (sigh) okay fine. Now that Roland’s out of the picture…who’s our next villain?

…

REALLY?!?!

Your new villain an army that commits slavery and plunders and kills people… so your new enemy IS THE MOST GENERICLY EVIL THING THAT EVER GENERICED?!

(bangs head on keybojkwelshxukl yw46ilgivc.,jk,hu)

I hate this show. Dear sweet jesus how i hate this show.

So the enemy has slaves and Tigre wants to save them because he’s a super special snowflake.

then of course he runs across a girl being chased by a few of their soldiers. and he magically kills them with his gary stu power and saves her, no doubt it being not another girl that wants to bone him. Because we don’t have enough of those.

After that they start chipping away at the bad guy’s army, they’ve had enough of that shit and tell them that if they don’t come out and fight, they’ll kill some of the hostages.

Surprisingly enough, Tigre doesn’t show up on a magical winged horse with a harem army to save the day and the hostages die.

However then, five minutes later they come out and defeat the bad army.

How you may ask?

If your answer was ANYTHING but Bullshit Gary Stu arrow of death…. you  haven’t been watching this show very much.

They rescue the hostages/slaves but um… a few of them are pissed that they waited to save them until a bunch of them died. And you know what? that’s actually a pretty okay reaction to have. So how will tigre get out of this one and possibly have to deal with real ramifications of his actions?

Oh. okay never fucking mind. He just bows, says “i’m sorry” and that fixes everything. of fucking course. Because this guy can do no fucking wrong.

After the battle they get set upon by more of those bad guys and then Lourie shows up

And that’s where the episode ends.

I… I wouldn’t even call this a show. All this is,  is a 12 year old fanfic writer’s self pleasure fantasy. 90% of the characters are garbage that don’t make any sense, the main character is a super special awesome amazing perfect asshole who has the power of a fucking god in his bow who can hit a fucking dime 1000 miles away, the plot is retarded, and there is no tension in the show at all.

Ah yes, the tension, let’s talk about that. Normally in a show where you know the character is going to win eventually, if the writing is good, you forget this and become enraptured by the story. In Vanadis, it’s so painfully obvious that gary stu tigre is going to win everything he comes across with minimal damage to himself,  that’s it PAINFUL.

 

He can hit guys ridiculously far away with arrows, he comes up with plans that work because everyone else is retarded, and he has abilities that are NOT FUCKING HUMAN. I don’t care how talented this guy is, he ain’t catching arrows without looking or hitting 3 guys in the head by putting 3 arrows on the bow at the same time, fuck you.

There is no tension because we know he’s going to win, but also because i don’t care about the characters. There’s nothing to get invested in. I don’t care what happens to any of these people, except maybe them dying.

I just…. this show is my pain every week. It’s like…. I watch it, but it’s so horribly painful, it’s almost like a punishment.

I haven’t cared about this show since….well never. I’m just going to make it through this. A husk. I…. I don’t fucking care anymore.

Episode 2/10

-Hideki