So after all this time, I’ve finally figured out why this show sucks so much. I’ve figured it out. And all it took was someone getting slashed across the chest.
Okay. So the episode starts out, and Tigre is unconscious back at camp. During this time the rest of the people get together and discuss what’s going on. One of the older guys said that he went to go talk to the king about their current situation and one of his friends lets him see the king, even though the king has not been taking visitors for some time.
I find it amusing that after he agrees to this, he immediately goes back and tells the rest of the gang.
Yeah um…so glad you can keep a secret buddy.
So what devious horrible thing must be kept a secret from the public? What crazy thing has the king been up to? Genocide? Slavery? Concubines of underage women?
WHAT?! DEAR SWEET GOD! SAY IT ISN’T-
Wait…what?
(rubs eyes) okay no..no i read that right. Um…. okay apparently the king has been playing with building blocks recently. I..guess it’s to signify he went senile or something?
Still, a dramatic reveal saying THAT isn’t very um..dramatic.
Anyway back to the camp where everyone’s worried sick about Garystugre including the ghost of ittybittytitta.
After a heartfelt nice um…talk by big ol’ boobymcloser they go off to do their own thing.
But you know, as of now, this episode has actually not been to painful. I’ve actually gotten through 10 minutes without wanting to murder someone. Why is that? What the hell is so different about this episode then all the others….
(GASPS) I cannot believe it took me this long to figure it out.
TIGRE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THIS WHOLE TIME
Holy crap. THAT’S what’s wrong with this series. Here I thought that it was a combination of everything else that made this show terrible, but….that only made the show annoying and kind of stupid. BUT IT WAS TIGRE. This guy is SUCH A BAD MAIN CHARACTER he literally turned a “meh, stupid” show into something horrible and painful. TIGRE is what is wrong with Vanadis. He is a stupid, selfish, gary stu bullshit character. It can now be said without a doubt, it’s all Tigre’s fault.
GAH FUCKGODDAMN IT! he woke up. Great. Now the rest of the episode is going to FUCKING SUCK.
And you know what? IT FUCKING DOES.
After douchemcserieskiller wakes up he immediately goes off with ghostoflittlebittytitta because his bow wanted him to. Good reason to do things when you’re recovering being stabbed.
He comes across a temple where he’s immediately greeted by the spirit of the goddess of death. Because sure. why the fuck not. And she possesses the ghostal body of Tittaactuallynotta.
The spirit basically tells him that if he wants power, he has to shoot Deadnottatitta while his magical bullshit arrow. He agrees because he’s a dirtbag but shoots her in a way that only blows her clothes off.
So basically he’s a cheating, perverted, dirtbag. okay. The goddess agrees and gives this fucker EVEN MORE GARY STU GODDAMN POWER. See what I mean? this guy’s back in the episode for 2 goddamn minutes and already he’s surpassing his gary stuness by being even MORE of a gary stu. Seriously. Fuck this guy.
He arrives back at camp to see Roland (aka knight dude) fighting the two war maidens and isn’t doing too bad of a job despite the fact she used her magic on him. Then of course Tigre pulls out his fucking stupid ass new bullshit mcgee arrow and fires it at Roland. Not killing him, but he surrenders. Why? CAUSE FUCK YOU TIGRE THAT’S WHY
And they beat his army and the episode ends.
See, this is what I was saying. When Tigre’s not around the show is this kind of war/supernatural show where they have to all be on guard and use strategy and worry about each other because the villains are somewhat threatening, including Roland cutting through the girl’s magics.
But, the SECOND that Tigre comes back into the show he comes back with all of his magical gary stu bullshit and removes ALL tension from the show. HE is the reason this show is bad. HE is the reason I hate this show.
I, in all my years watching anime have never seen a more frustrating, poorly written, overpowered everything goes right for me character in my entire life. Tigre is what a 12 year old writes in his first ever self-insert fanfic. If it weren’t for him, this show would actually be bearable. But the fact that he’s here makes me want to punch small everythings. So FUCK YOU TIGRE. You suck and I hope next time Roland finishes the job.
First half of the episode 5/10
Second half 2/10
-Hideki