Madan No Ou To Vanadis Episode 6 (You mean actions have consequences??)

You know, World Trigger has already had a week delay as has Tribe Cool Crew. Why Vanadis? Why can’t YOU ever give me a week off from your garbage? Damn you and your punctuality.

Oh well, we were at the start of an epic battle between Lourie and Bitch Tits. Hopefully that will be entertaining.

So they start the battle as the two war maidens immediately start fighting with every intention to kill each other.

What bugs me about this scene is Fuckface (elen) basically says right before this battle, “thanks for saving us before. I’ll repay you by defeating you.” Well fuck you too you nasty bitch!

So the fight is underway, then a random guy kind of just pops up and tries to kill one of the war maidens, but Tigre O’perfectbullshitarrow kills him before he can. and just like that, the battle’s over. No i’m not joking.

All the fighting stops because someone tries to kill someone. I…I don’t even with this show. What’s that? a battle and someone tried to kill someone?! hang on time out guys! That’s just not cool.

Because of all this Lourie declares neutrality, since you know, that makes all the sense and they leave.

Yeah that’s right. That big fight they were leading up to last episode? Lasted all of 3 minutes. Well at least they made their bullshit concise.

Hmm… well our last villain is dead…who the hell should we bring in now? How about this guy? His name’s roland and he’s a knight. Who does..knight stuff.

And that’s when our heroes guys who have most of the screentime head off to a village where we see people farting around town to show it’s a bustling town. That’s when I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw this random villager.

I paused the scene as I wondered to myself, who is this guy? why is with another guy sitting across from him wearing a cloak? why is there a boy with him who looks confused? You see, I care so little about this story that I actually wrote my own story about that guy in the corner.

You see, his name is Tralner. He is a traveling bard, but he’s also a warrior. He traveled alone until one day he came across a burning village that was destroyed by an invading army. In the rubble he found a young boy. (the one sitting at the table) and seeing no other option, decided to take him in as his little brother. Throughout his travels he taught the young boy the ways of the bard but also learned that he had a proficiency for magic, to which he found a mage to teach him the ways of magic to hone his skills (the guy sitting across from them) however, Tralner soon learned that his mage friend was in trouble with some mercenaries who wanted to kill him for a bad deal gone wrong. So Tralner stepped up to help the boy’s magical teacher and since then they’ve gone on adventures together as he’s looking for a legendary bard song. One that will unite the nations and bring about world peace.

See? I just made a RANDOM GUY IN THE BACKGROUND’S story 10 times more interesting than what’s going on. In fact, I really wish THAT GUY could be the star. Fuck it. I am now calling this show “The Bard’s Journey….with some other guys in the foreground”

I’d say that I was sorry for going off on this tangent but….for this show? I’m not.

So what the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah. the other plot. Um… So yeah, Tigre Assman is chilling out on the grass probably thinking about how much of a gary stu he is when our episodal fanservice shows up. I mean one of the seven war maidens. She’s naked, (shrug)not sure why, as she trips and falls directly on top of Taintface.

She’s there because she wants to inform Tigre that he’s being charged with treason.

I have to give the show this. I thought they COMPLETELY forgot about this. But what bugs me is that Tigre seems SO SHOCKED about this. He’s like “But…but i’m not a traitor!” Hang on Fuckface let me get out my dictionary.

Treason:

/ˈtriːzən/

So yeah Tigre, remember when you were captured and that army was attacking your country and you said to Elen (aka fucktits) aka opposing army leader, that after she helped you save your kingdom she could HAVE YOUR LAND?

Yeah buddy that’s called treason. I don’t care if your intentions were the best intentions in the fucking world. If you TEAM UP WITH AND WILLINGLY HAND OVER YOUR SOVEREIGN LAND TO THE ENEMY THAT’S CALLED TREASON.

After that For some reason they want to go see the king or something ( I really didn’t care) and they get in a battle with The supposed amazing super awesome undefeatable knight Roland.

Asstits tries to fight him but doesn’t want to use her powers because “I can’t use them on a human blah blah” and gets her ass beaten. So Assface the tiger shows up and saves her, complete with ridiculous impossible arrow shots killing Roland’s horse.

But we also find out that Tigre got slashed by this guy when doing so. Of course though he’ll be fine. Because this show would NEVER EVER have the balls to kill Tigre off. EVER.

End of episode.

What the fuck do I have to say that’s not already been said by me a million times? Okay well I will give the show this. I’m VERY surprised they brought up the whole treason thing. I mean, I know it’ll get washed over and no one will give a fuck but it’s nice they mentioned it.

Honestly, I would have liked to have seen Tigre turn himself in. That never once crossed his mind despite the fact that people are going to start attacking his army’s and killing people to get to him but fuck it. I need to have more time with naked chicks who want to bone me.

Also, i’m getting pissed off at Tigre’s ability to kill basically anyone and have no human emotions. He’s supposed to be this amazing super nice god among men who has unrealistic empathy, but he doesn’t seem to have any sort of problem killing anyone or when even his own men die. For the whole series he’s treated the soldier men more of a nuisance than anything. He doesn’t relate to them, because he doesn’t have to because he’s super gary stu mcasshole.

Normally I would be okay with this as he’s a noble and they tend to think like that. However, that’s not the way they’re playing him. They try to make this guy sound like he’s the nicest thing since Mr. Fucking Rogers. But that’s only during certain scenes, when he’s talking either to pretty girls or people of great import. If they lampshade this and discuss with him about how that isn’t okay, I’ll take this back. But they won’t. Because this show acts like only a certain number of the people are important and the rest can go fuck off and die. That’s one of the reasons I hate this guy so much. He’s a douchebag. That’s all there really is to it.

Also Fuck Elen. Because she’s a bitch.

God am I still talking about this episode?

Hopefully next episode Tigre will die. Shut up. I know he won’t. But let me dream damn it!

Episode 3.5/10

-Hideki