Impression
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!!
NO! THEY DID NOT JUST END IT THERE! HOW DARE THEY END IT THERE?! SHIT SHIT SHIT. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS SOON- OR SO I THOUGHT LAST WEEK BUT THEN I WHILE I WAS WATCHING THE PERFORMANCE I NOTICED THAT KAORI WASN’T LOOKING SO GOOD AND I STARTED WORRYING ABOUT HER HEALTH. OF COURSE WHEN SHE AND KOUSEI ACCOMPLISHES GETTING AN ENCORE DESPITE HIS ROCKY PERFORMANCE, SHE COLLAPSES. GOD DAMN IT!
OH MY GOD. I am seriously restraining myself from writing an entire cap-locks entry, but smokes, this episode… The emotions in this episode was so incredible, that I got and still have goosebumps. Kaori understands Kousei in a way no one else could. She knows that he is imprisoned in the music sheets, he harbors the trauma from pressure, and I believe that her drive to help him overcome this trauma is based upon her own past experiences of fighting against what some may describe as the impossible. Kaori knows that Kousei needs to be challenged in a positive way and she drew that out today after telling him to start from the beginning again. Despite his serious blunders and falling out of sync, Kaori gave him a second chance that lit up that flame of hope once again. Kousei finally sees the light, and that is a huge step.
When Kousei described her as the very entity of freedom, Kaori told him that it isn’t her but music. In the beginning I disagreed with her, but then after how the episode ended I understood why Kaori said that. She isn’t as free as she appears to be. She too is being shackled down by what appears to be a critical health issue that could very well be a terminal illness (something we were all dreading about since last week hospital visit). Music is her freedom by allowing her to do what she wants to do, to comfort her, brings her to a better place and I am sure so much more (which she will most certainly share with us in the future). This is why I believe Kaori is so dead set on helping Kousei overcome his trauma and the ghosts from his past. She doesn’t want to watch someone’s passion for music be overshadowed by the fear and discomfort towards it. Music is supposed to be free, not constrained.
That said I am so very proud of Kousei. Despite the roller-coaster he had experienced, with Kaori’s help, he was able to find it in him to start playing once again. He was rewarded with recalling a positive experience with his mother of telling him how he needs to treat the piano gently, like caressing a baby’s head. I can’t imagine how long it must have been since Kousei had ever recalled a positive memory associated with his mother. And let me tell you, it was a powerful moment because it tells us that his mother wasn’t always the strict teacher we have seen her be. After seeing that gives me hope to see more positive memories- and put the pieces together of Kousei’s past. This certainly won’t excuse the harsh training treatment he had to go through, but it would be nice for Kousei to remember more of the good times instead of the bad, as well as remind him how he fell in love with the piano in the first place. Associating positive memories to something he cares about with definitely help with the healing progress.
But hands down, one of the most fascinating and incredible moments was when Kousei found a way to overcome that wall of not being able to hear his music. Fueled with new found determination, he came to a resolution that if he can’t hear the sound, then imagine it, which I thought was absolutely brilliant. This happened because Kaori challenged/provided him a chance him to try again. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the individual’s willpower, and a powerful will can produce incredible results, just as we saw today. To see both Kaori and Kousei shedding tears and both of them SMILING over their epic brawl was truly a profound moment.
Although I would have LOVED to have solely dedicate this post so Kaori and Kousei, I definitely have to mention Tsubaki. Now while she didn’t play a major role in this episode, we did however, see a hint of foreshadowing towards her relationship with Kousei. Since the first episode, I wondered whether or not Tsubaki harbors any sort of romantic feelings, but now it seems clear to me: Tsubaki doesn’t necessarily have to harbor romantic feelings towards him. Instead, the conflict I see her character facing is the distance between them is she started feeling today. Ironic really how in the beginning of the episode, she said that she had a gut feeling that Kousei was going to find spring. And he did, but as result Kousei all the sudden felt very far away from her. The music and his connection with Kaori is what caused the distance between him and Tsubaki. While I am sure this is going to be a one-sided issue on Tsubaki’s part, I am sure this is one of the reasons for her tears that we see in the OP (don’t you dare make me bring up the second possible reason).
