You know, I think i’m getting to the point where I’m posting all the titles that I love just so this season all of you won’t go “Jesus, does this guy like ANYTHING?!” Because, chances are, I’m going to say “WOW THAT SUCKS!” A LOT. Also because this OVA is amazing and everyone in the world needs to know about it. I am referring of course, to Animation Runner Kuromi (holy crap really? you mean the title of the post?)

Now, odds are, you have never seen, nor heard of this. Understandable as this was an OVA released by Central Park Media back in the early 2000’s. For those of you who don’t remember, Central Park Media was known also as US Manga, Software Sculptors, and Anime 18. Their titles included Slayers, Utena, and Record of Lodoss War. they’re out of business now so a lot of their stuff that didn’t get bought out by another company is out of print. But as of this post, you can buy this OVA for $3.79 on Amazon. so there’s really no reason not to buy it.

The premise is actually pretty simple, yet hilarious. Mikiko Oguro (kuromi for short) played by (swoons) Lisa Ortiz becomes the new production manager in a small anime company.

To be fair, if I were going to my first day at an anime company i'd look like that too
To be fair, if I were going to my first day at an anime company i’d look like that too

She is quickly disillusioned however as she discovers they’re way behind on schedule with the show and no one is getting their work done due to cases of severe laziness. Once again, the premise is simple, yet hilarious.

Shit! is the hot spring scene before or after the beach scene?
Shit! is the hot spring scene before or after the beach scene?

Throughout the OVA, Kuromi goes through the different stages of a new job. Enthusiasm, Disillusionment, renewed vigor, depression, and finally perseverance. And all the parts of it are played wonderfully.

As the OVA opens, we learn that the previous person who had her job is leaving because he got a bleeding ulcer due to stress from his job.

To be fair i'd want to put my head next to kuromi's chest too...i mean wait. what?
To be fair i’d want to put my head next to kuromi’s chest too…i mean wait. what?

As she takes over she learns just how far behind the workload is, as her job is to go to each animator’s house and pick up the key animations they draw. Receiving nearly none her first day, she is severely disillusioned as she leaves mid afternoon her first day with nothing else to do due to the animators severe laziness.

The only person besides herself who seems to want to get any work done whatsoever is the series’ director, Shihomatsu.

Hmm...getting an Android 18 vibe off this chick
Hmm…getting an Android 18 vibe off this chick

However, even with her sarcastic determination, Kuromi ends up nearly giving up, as she flat out quits. As a parting gift, Shihomatsu decides to give Kuromi a signed picture of Louiemon III. (if you don’t know what they’re parodying i….just leave)

I don't CARE if you're a sentimental treasure. FIT IN MY BASKET GODDAMNIT!
I don’t CARE if you’re a sentimental treasure. FIT IN MY BASKET GODDAMNIT!

After thinking it over, Kuromi decides to give it another try. And after learning some tips from Shihomatsu, rallies the troops together and they begin working like crazy.

kuromi 10

Finally they managed to get every single cut of the episode done……oh wait…except for 3 of them.

Oh Kuromi you...goddman it Hideki keep it together!
Oh Kuromi you…goddamnit man it Hideki keep it together!

It turns out that a few of them were shipped off to a different animation company and Kuromi drives like a maniac to grab them and returns to the studio.

lol. and yes. they do lampshade that she slammed the door open the wrong way.
lol. and yes. they do lampshade that she slammed the door open the wrong way.

I’m not going to spoil the ending because you need to see it, but I will say this. Do yourselves a favor, and watch it.

This…. I have seen this OVA more times than I can count. Everything about this is fantastic. I love the humor, the frantic pace, the zaniness, yet how at the same time it can be serious and touch your heart.

This is the role Lisa Ortiz was meant to play. I don’t know of ANY other female voice actress that could do Kuromi Justice. Even the Japanese VA wasn’t AS GOOD as Lisa. She is perfect. And that’s not to say that the others aren’t great. They got some great VA’s in this too. Sam Regal, Eric Stuart, and Wayne Grayson to name a few. There’s just something about the dub that has so much energy in it. I can’t stop watching this OVA, and I never will.

I don’t gush often as people can tell you. and prepare for next week when I start ripping things A new one. But I can’t with this. I love the setting, the premise, the humor, the fourth wall breaks, the characters, everything. I recommend this to ANYONE. If you’re feeling sad before watching this, you WILL feel better.

Wait, so this cut is for Bible what?
Wait, so this cut is for Bible what?

I cannot give enough praise for this thing. It actually saddens me that we live in a world where people swoon over Attack on Titan and Cowboy Bebop, but not this. Yeah that’s fucking right. I called this better than Cowboy Bebop. Y’all can go suck it.

If you do not watch this you REALLY are missing out. There’s no fight scenes, there’s no blood, but my god. I have never enjoyed myself more watching anime. In fact, when i’m tired of anime, i rewatch this to reignite my passion. This is amazing, i will now have all the sex with Kuromi, give this OVA a blowjob, prostrate myself to the glory of this anime.

Art 10/10

Plot 10/10

Squishy feels/laughs 10/10

Well, i do believe i have whored myself out to this enough, excuse me while I give my residuals to my pimp.

Ah! here's your mone- know what? fuck it. still hot.
Ah! here’s your mone- know what? fuck it. still hot.

Hideki