Shingeki no Kyojin [ep 14]: prelude to WOW THAT GUY JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

Welcome folks, to the beginning of Season 2! I, Oki, will be joining you for this season and to begin, we have the newest episode! . . . featuring Eren getting the shit beaten out of him. And chained. Uhm. . . . that’s. . . . the episode folks.

 

If you just started watching Attack on Titan, congrats! You picked the one episode where PEOPLE AREN’T BEING MURDERED to come in on! Seriously, the most notable thing about this episode to me was, damn, nobody got eaten! There wasn’t even any Titan sightings! No transformations! And for good reason- Eren’s on trial since his titan transformation was discovered. The episode felt super short despite this which I guess is good because I hate the slow monotonous episodes where plot occurs. BOO PLOT

GET BACK TO THE MURDER AND YMIR AND CHRISTA AND MIKASA BEING A BAMF also MACABRE AND HORROR come on show get your shit together. But this episode is the beginning of the build up, literally, Prelude to the Counterattack. The only notable stuff this episode is Levi’s badass moment and Hanji’s introduction.

Seriously let’s just

take a moment guys

 

Look at this beautiful man who will beat the shit out of you for his own gains. Man, if this was an otome game I’d have an unhealthy attraction to him. Look at him. With his wide soulless eyes and his blank look of angsty fun times. I cannot emphasize to you how much I love this man for his one real scene this episode. I mean he had other moments but come on

 

Even Mikasa was like, WUT DO I DO this episode, nope, not Levi

his answer was to beat the shit out of Eren

WHY THE HELL IS THIS NOT EVERYONE’S ANSWER ALL THE TIME??

Titan’s ate my family?

beat the shit out of eren

humanity doomed to extinction?

 

BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EREN!

ALONE AND FRIENDLESS IN A BARREN WASTELAND FILLED WITH NOTHING TO DREAM OF AND A NEW OPENING OF ATTACK ON TITAN THAT IS GOOD BUT WILL NEVER BE THE FLAWLESS EARGASM OF THE FIRST OPENING AND DAMMIT YOU JUST WANT TO SEE TITAN’S GET NECK FUCKED UP AND BEAT UP AND MAYBE OCCASIONALLY EAT SOMEONE YOU DON’T LIKE BUT DAMMIT YOU WALKED IN ON A PLOT EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK-

 

Beat the ever loving shit out of Eren!

And so guys, that’s most of what this review is. Because truthfully? This episode was basically just Levi beating the shit out of Eren. Most of us have seen anime episodes of THE MAIN CHARACTER IS PROBABLY FUCKED HIS SECRET WAS REVEALED WILL HE GO TO PRISON and short of maybe the occasional main character being maimed and tortured until he sells his friends to demonic gods in some fulfillment of an evil prophecy, we know where it ends. Main character has to prove himself and blah blah blah stuff. Let’s be honest we all knew where it’d go, and if it didn’t go there I’d be really surprised but come on.

Long story short, Eren has to prove himself outside of the wall with his Titan powers so whatever NEXT WEEEEK MAYBE SOME FIGHTS!!! And that’s it. This has been Attack on Titan ep 14. . . . .

….one last time?

yeaaah let’s beat the shit out of eren yaaaay

Oki