Hanasaku Iroha Ep 3 + 4 LESBIANS, PORN, AND BONDAGE …OH GOD.

This is so late because I’ve been burdened by work and exams, but I’m free starting today! Ahahahahahah!!!! Anyway Hanasaku Iroha everyone. This last two weeks has been full of MIND FUCK. Oh god

So the episode starts off with bitching moaning blah blah BREAKFAST ERRORS!!!! And of course, very much taro. And spinach. And all is pretty much normal and uninteresting until WHAT THE FUCK BONDAGE

Errr yeah so our uh…author friend who didn’t want breakfast is tying up our beloved main character. Well, he’s attempting it. And failing. Miserably. And then she uh…helps….him….But he is an absolute failure and she even wriggles out of the cloth over her mouth. But she agrees not to scream and then ASKS WHY HE TIED HER UP AND GAGGED HER

I just

I don’t even

What

Then she discovers he isn’t very famous at all, and that he feels like a failure. So she comforts him. After he tied her up. AFTER HE TIED HER UP FOR INSPIRATION. FOR INSPIRATION. IF I WAS HER I’D BE BACKIN UP ABOUT NOW SON…

OHANA I DON’T UNDERSTAAAND YOOOOOU

So everyone is freaking out and looking for Ohana and her grandmamma decides to be coy about it and shit and they’re all going to ‘clean’. Which you know would be fine but I’m pretty sure Ohana’s going to get into deep shit even if she explains she was ‘kidnapped’ because in the meanwhile SHE IS HELPING HIM WRITE EROTIC FANFICTION OF HERSELF

Then he explains he’s writing about her because he’s been WATCHING HER

OH SHIT SON I AM SERIOUS OHANA GET OUT OF THERE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF OH GOD

Then she continues to read the pornography BASED ON HERSELF

And she also reads like a fifth grader, or is only pretending to read it. [CAPTION: NEEDS MORE COMMAS, BITCH]

Okay so …so this is just… THIS SHIT IS TOO MUCH MAN

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WELL MY BRAIN IS SORE YOU FUCKFACE

So as Ohana lets her SAVIOR WALK AWAY SHE CONTINUES TO HIDE SO SHE CAN READ PORNOGRAPHY ABOUT HERSELF BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE REALLY DO RIGHT? THEY AID IN PORNOGRAPHY ABOUT THEMSELVES?

I don’t even know rite nao gaiz. This is…this is so much to take.

Well she doesn’t walk away actually, and Ohana doesn’t stay quiet……….but our writer does threaten to tie up YET ANOTHER GIRL. He couldn’t even tie up Ohana. Omg. AND THEN HE TRIES TO TIES UP MR BEANS. MR FUCKING BEANS GUYS! HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS WORK. MUH BRAAAAAAIN. AAUHDGKJDFHUISHJIURGCHIODFJHOIHJIOD
F
DFGF
FD\

– entering standby, have a nice butterfly while my mind recovers-

Oh god. A HIGH SPEED CHASE ENSUES. WHY?! WHY! OH GOD

And then he decides he is going to try and kill himself, I guess. And you know I’m sure the fucking rest is motivating and interesting but I have NO INTEREST IN THS CHARACTER AND HE HAS DONE REPREHINSIBLE SHIT ALL OUT OF LACKING CONFIDENCE. If we excuse that then every rapist and murderer on the block will just claim I CANT WRITE NOVELS MY LIFE FUCKIN SUCKS.

Anyway he fucking jumps because he is dumb. And they HAVE TO GO SAVE HIM KJFHGKIJDGH

HOW DOES IT FEEL, NEEDING TO BE SAVED BY A SMALL CHILD? Then he whines because he COULDN’T EVEN KILL HIMSELF RIGHT AFTER FUCKING SAYING I DON’T WANT TO DIE AN THEN

THEN

THEY FUCKING DECIDE TO LET HIM WORK AT THE INN

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

My brains hurts so lets just…move on to episode 4

AAAAAH HE IS STILL HERE WHY IS HE STILL HERE I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. I LIKE BOOBIES AND SCHOOL GIRL UNIFORMS AND I EVEN WRITE SMUT BUT WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON. YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH. I WISH YOU WOULD DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE JIROMARRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Anyway so the girls are walking to school when suddenly….

A CAR DRIVES BY VERY FAST ON THE OTHER. SIDE. OF THE ROAD. FUCKING HELL YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEBODY MAN!

Blah blah school and sakura petals and oh shit Kou-chan!

I MISS YOU KOU CHAN PLEASE COME BACK AND DATE OHANA SO I CAN SHIP SOMETHING. I like shipping ok. Bawww

Anyway Ohana wants to be in Nako’s class everyone laughs at Nako Ohana’s teacher is weird MY SCREEN GETS BLUE SCREENED I wish galleries were selective because so far episode 4 is boooring

OKAY EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY FUCKING SCREAM IN MY EAR

Everyone throws a bitchfit and decides OHANA IS QUEEN not really but they won’t shut up and stop making stuff up. Also Ohana is naturally blonde with wavy hair and I laugh because NOT IN JAPAN, BIIITCH.

And Minko’s in her class and as usual being an ice cold bitch. But that’s why I lurves her. And I guess why all the boys love her because as soon as Ohana admits she lives with Minko boys want to pay her for photos >_>;

Anywhoozle Ohana gets saved by a pretty young thaaaaang with an accent named Yuina. Awesome. If she’s evil that’s awesome, if she’s not I am going to pick her as my moe favorite…she shall be my new Cecilia Alcott…mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

BUT I’M PRETTY SURE SHE’S EVIL. Turns out the CAR SPEEDING PAST THEM DANGEROUSLY came out from the inn HER GRANDMOTHER OWNS!!!! Then she asks suspicious questions about a cool person to which Ohana dumbly fucking thinks IS JIROUMARU WHYYY anyway someone confesses to Minko and of fucking course she admits her ideal man is guess who YOU’LL NEVER GUESS AND I’LL NEVER TELL BECAUSE I ALREADY FORGOT HIS NAME AHAHAHAHA!

Anyway aside from a few things the rest of the episode bores me. Ohana and Nako talk and shiz pretty backgrounds and in attempt to be friends Ohana insults Tohru who Minko loves and blaaaaah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah AND THE FUCKING BLUE THING MESSED UP MY BATH SCREENSHOTS dammit cruel world

Anyway, stay tuned for Eva for the next two weeks! Been fun making some new changes on the blog but you’ll see me yet! And definitely for this show…mmmmmmmmmmmmm…..hanasaku iroha….hehehe…..

oki