Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Episode 18: From Zero
I’m going to marry Rem.
I was expecting quite a lot from this episode. I didn’t know exactly what it would entail, but through the grapevine I knew it was significant somehow – complete with a fun preview featuring Takahashi Rie act like Megumin while using her Emilia voice. There were even adverts for it in the streets of Japan. The one to the right says something along the lines of: ‘the worst, the best, despair and hope… the heart-burning 25 minutes and 45 seconds begins’. I got more than just that, I think. I got a truckload of feels, lots of involuntary tears and a free application form to join the Church of Rem. I’m also nursing a split lip from the sudden outburst I had when Subaru said he loved Emilia. It hurts. I’m going to get onto that later, but for now – what the actual fuck, Subaru. I’m kind of glad I hadn’t decided to waifu Rem or take any irrevocable steps like that, because if I had (and she’s made a very persuasive case even before this episode) I think I’d feel a lot more wronged than I already am feeling. Waifu wars have been exploding all over the internet for the past few hours. I haven’t seen such a unified outrage of this degree since Kayo had a baby with someone who wasn’t Satoru.
Firstly, I won’t blame Subaru for deciding to run away. In fact, it’s the option I’m sure a lot of us (me included) would have ended up taking if we were forced to endure so much suffering and despair with the end of the tunnel nowhere in sight. But I have to disagree with his belief that it would solve everything, and that has nothing to do with Rem’s unwavering belief that Subaru isn’t someone who gives up so easily – I just don’t think it’s a viable solution at all because of Puck. He’s apparently contracted to destroy the world in the event of Emilia’s death, and we know that everyone in entire Roswaal estate is guaranteed to be massacred courtesy of the KKK if Subaru fails to act. I can’t fathom why Emilia would ever agree to condemn the world to destruction (up until now I had assumed Puck went nuclear out of anger and nothing else) but it would mean that Subaru would have experienced a reset soon after escaping even if Rem had agreed to run away with him. Her fantasies of her future life with Subaru are really sweet, though – so sweet that it’s prompted a bunch of Rem AU slice-of-life stories on what life would have been like if she’d settled down with Subaru in Kararagi and had a few kids with him. It’s extremely comfy, and is perfect bedtime reading. I’ve put some links at the bottom of the post. I fully recommend it! It’s also exactly the kind of life I’d like to have one day.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a loving and encouraging waifu speech. It was perfect, just like Rem is. Anyone who believes that Rem isn’t a top-tier waifu is just objectively wrong. Rem has seen Subaru at his very lowest, and yet she still loves him with all her heart. She loves even when he doesn’t love himself. Subaru was worn down to the brink of despair from everything he’s experienced in the past few loops – and Rem provided him with hope once more, like the absolute angel she is. His self-esteem was probably lower than it should have been due to his recent failures – he might have been completely useless in the capital and completely unable to do anything, but he has achieved things back during the first arc and within the mansion. He saved Rem for example, and she loves him from the bottom of her heart as a result. Just when you think it’d be hard to top the sheer devotion she displayed after having survived Betelgeuse’s torture and releasing Subaru before dying in his arms, this happens. And then he rejects her and says he loves Emilia.
Why?! Why would you do that?! She literally pours her whole heart out to him, and he responds with ‘I love Emilia, help me save her’. Fuck! Even if it’s how he actually feels, that’s literally the most insensitive time to say something like that to Rem! And she even accepts it with a smile, she’s too fucking good for him. She’s too good for this series, which keeps killing her off. As I said, I’ve kept relatively quiet about best girls and all that for Re:Zero, but I’m outraged. My expressions basically mirrored Subaru’s this episode up until he said he loved Emilia, at which point my jaw just dropped. Even when he asked Rem to run away with him, it felt like he was settling for her and starting a family with her just to give himself a reason to keep on living. Could his feelings have something to do with Satella? Is she manipulating things? He barely knows Emilia, whilst Rem would go to the ends of the earth and back for him. This feels so infuriating. I’m not saying he should love Rem. But at least he shouldn’t tell her to her face that he loves Emilia after all she’s done for him.
It’s okay Rem. I’ll love and marry you if Subaru won’t.
Natsuki Rem AU