Ozmafia!! [Sou Route]
I decided to play Sou’s route after the Brothel one because I needed a break. It was either Sou or Scarlet, the two guys who look like kids. Yeaaaah, I know, “But Charibo, they are clearly underage, that’s also a sin!”. Well after the Brothel, I think that I’ve lost all the remaining innocence that I had, I did not had much left but still.
So I decided to go with Sou first because Scarlet really looks like Kanato from Diabolik Lovers. You know, him:
Kanato is my favorite husbando from the whole cast of Diabolik Lovers so good things should be kept for last ahaha.
Ok enough joking, I hate Diabolik Lovers from the bottom of my heart, so when I say Kanato is my favorite, it means that he’s the one that I hate the most. Well, to be honest, Kanato is now a joke for me. If somebody asks me who’s my husbando? I’ll reply Kanato, 10/10, Kanato and his creepy bear, just perfect waifu, wow. Can you even try to compete with my strong husbando game? EH? I BET YOU CAN’T
Ok so look at this face:
She He’s adorable right ? Nothing bad can happen in his route right? I’ve seen the Brothel route so now, I’m certain that NOTHING, nothing can be worst than this route.
Sou is some guy who sells all sort of food and sweets on the street, it’s nothing fishy I promise. He looks super friendly at first and I liked his voice. His route basically consists in Fuka going to his shop and eating pancakes while meeting with lots of side characters of the game. Sou is part of the Wolf Gang, lead by Caesar, the bad guy who wants to kidnap Fuka since the beginning of the game. See that kind of dramatic Romeo + Juliett setting? I like that. Fuka accepts it quite lightly and moves on. Since she only meets Sou during the Sundays, when all violence is prohibited so there should be no danger, she thinks.
From that point Sou looks normal, mature for his looks and protective towards the heroine, giving her rational arguments on why she should be careful. Like not jumping into an armed fight without being protected. I guess you can call it common sense but Fuka has proven many times that she doesn’t have any, so any advice from any character is welcomed. So yeah the first part of the route consists of talking about pancakes and other sweets.Sou looks like some kind of fluffy fairy wrapped with honey, after the brothel route, I quite appreciate that.
It is quite interesting to note that even if Sou didn’t hide the fact that he was a member of the Wolf Gang, he is quite secretive on his relationship with Caesar. So secretive that even in the end, having played both endings, you can’t really determine why is Sou staying with Caesar. Some subs events reveal that he is hiding a lot of stuff from him and that in the end, he doesn’t really care about Casear.
Sou and Fuka are a lot alike. Even their physical appearance is almost the same and in terms of personality they complete each other. However, if Sou does look like an innocent flower, dumb and nice like Fuka, he is actually more thoughtful than her, aware of a lot of things and for a reason: He lives in the slumps, place where all the bad things like murders and rape happen. He also saves Fuka from Caesar at some point and manages to lie perfectly to his boss without feeling any regret. So yeah, he looks cute, acts cute, but knows what he is doing.
Fuka decides to enter the Oz family. Because of that dumb choice she isn’t allowed to have any contact with Sou except on Sundays since he’s a part of a rival family. Furthermore, if she’s allowed to see and talk to him on Sundays, they can’t be lovers, or have any kind of close relationship. Because he can’t stand that situation, Sou asks Fuka to run away with him. She accepts and they manage to escape town and leave a nice little romance for a few days.
However, one morning, Caesar has found trace of them and wants to get Fuka back and to kill Sou cuz he betrayed him. They both battle a bit and Sou manages to hit Caesar but instead of running away, he stays and treats Caesar’s wounds, telling him to shut the fuck up while he’s treating him. It’s cute, I’m not joking. I do find it cute.
If only things would go well for those two right? I mean, they are perfect together. BUT NO! Because the next day, Sou becomes ill and Fuka decides to go back in town to heal him. Fair enough, I don’t want him to die, so that looks like a good plan Fuka. She gets scold a bit by the Oz family but just a bit so she doesn’t really care. I don’t know, in Caramia’s place would have been pretty pissed off if some member of my family ran away with a random dude. BUT EH, they are too nice with her…. or they just don’t care… they know that they won’t get the pussy anyway so I bet they don’t care anymore.
Okay. NOW, can they finally be together please?
No they can’t?
May ask why?
Yes. He dies. Like that *pooof* dead. I’m not even joking. It really happens like that. One night she sees him and he looks fine but the next day Fuka learns by the Doctor that Sou has died. She goes to see his corpse but the doctor explains that the body has disappeared and that only a flower remains in the coffin. Is that real?! WHY DOES THE NICE GUY HAS TO DIE WHEN UTTER SHITS LIKE DORIAN GRAY ARE ALIVE?!
I’m not angry at you game…
I’M NOT ANGRY OKAY?!
You better fix things now.
Many months later, Fuka sees Sou again at the Meteor Shower Gathering. He says some weird shit about not being able to be next to her, not belonging to her happy future and stuff but all I was thinking at the time was NO! *bangs fists on the table* NONONONONONONO! IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HAPPY ENDING?! FUCK THAT! So yeah, he leaves her but she is somehow happy since she knows that he will always be in her heart… I guess? That’s what I understood… It’s a little difficult to understand this ending I must admit.
Ok, let’s stop being salty, maybe the second ending is fixing this bullshit? Who knows?
The second ending is almost the same thing, however you’re the one getting sick. Kyrie finds you in the forest brings and you back so that the doctor can help you while Sou is put in Jail. IN JAIL. Yeaaah, they are not laughing on this one.
Then Sou appears in your dreams to tell you that he’s going to erase all your memories of him because he need to and that you’ll have to find happiness somewhere else. At the very end he’s with the wolf gang talking casually to Fuka. Of course she has forgotten about all the stuff that they lived together before, whereas he hasn’t. I’m not sure about the rest of the cast but it doesn’t really matter because…
I ‘M NOT OKAY! WHAT’S THE POINT THIS GAME IS TRYING TO MAKE BY PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT?! “ FUCKING WITH ALL THE DUDES IN TOWN IS OKAY BUT BEING HAPPY WITH A SINGLE GUY IS A NO GO ?! “ SCREW THAAAAAT!! SCREWWWWW THAAAAT!!SCREEEEEEEEWWWW EVERYTHIIIIIING.
THE PAIN GUYS
Not the tears because I’m not a pussy who cries for a video game
“Eh, but Charibo, at the end of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon you did…”
SHUT YOUR TRAP MANUEL!!
I have a weakness for characters that disappear in the end OKAY?!
In my opinion, both endings are a bad end so I’m not happy… Well, second ending is better since you can still see Sou every day but what’s the point if Fuka doesn’t remember? That’s a pretty tragic route. BRING THE CANDYMAN BACK ALIVE!
SOU IS FREAKING ADORABLE! Maybe I might be biased because I’ve just played the crap brothel route but I love Sou, he’s just, so sweet. Sure that’s not some hot passionate romance but his story is sad. Although I don’t understand why he has to disappear but I bet it will be revealed in the big ending so for the moment: I LIKE SOU! I’ve only played his route and Caramia plus the brothel one so I can’t really compare with all the other routes of the game, but it sure is better than Kinky route and daddy’s complex one.
Fun fact, Sou’s route did not make me want to sit in the dark and wait until the pain goes away like the Brothel route did. I did not want to end my life by sinking in Bleach like I did after finishing the Brothel route. Which is a good ting… I guess…
I’m a bit sad because, in this review, I couldn’t make as many sex jokes as I wanted to… Everybody knows that sex jokes are the best kind of jokes so I’m a bit disappointed in myself. Even a perverted mind like mine wasn’t able find any kind of sexual implied stuff to joke about in Sou’s route. Oh well, I guess I said that he gives sweets on the street at the beginning, but that’s not a joke, it’s a fact.
If you want sex jokes about candies, you should listen to this song instead, which I dedicate entirely to Sou, never going to forget you man, deep down in the kororo you rest: ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
I like sharing this kind of songs here, now you can finally now my deepest secret: I have the worst music taste in the world…. And I cried at the end of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon… But It’s a really sad game okay?
Provisional ranking of the routes:
|2||Caramia||Caramia is like a bowl of dry porridge = Boring|
|3||Brothel||I’d rather watch Enzai again.|
Coming next on Ozmafia!!: We will try to handle Kyrie, the teasing guy. You can expect a lot of tipping fedoras.