Oh boy, it is time for my bi-weekly review of Koufukku Graffiti. And you know what that means! Food Por-

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! JESUS CHRIST!!

I…I don’t even know what the fuck to say to that. Um…fuck.. Okay, let’s see if I can get this in context. So the episode starts out with the main girl daydreaming about…THIS.

It turns out that it’s a bit further in the episode though as we cut back to the present time.

The two girls are at school and we find out that next week school’s going to be cancelled for a teacher conference. The main girl gets upset by this because she realizes that without class, Kirin (the purple haired girl) will have no reason to come visit her and she’ll be alone for the weekend.

Kirin tells her not to worry and she’ll call her mom and ask if she can stay. Her mother informs her that the family is going to all be going out to dinner that night. So Kirin instantly decides to stay with her family because of that.

You two timing bitch
You two timing bitch

Wow. Just…wow. I actually lost an INCREDIBLE amount of respect for Kirin this episode with that move. She knows how lonely her friend gets and she tells her that not to worry because she’ll talk to her family and IMMEDIATELY changes her mind because she’ll get fancy restaurant food? oh fuck you Kirin. Fuck you. I actually kind of liked you. Dick move bitch. Dick move.

And then she’s like “Oh, sorry, I couldn’t say no to that. but oh, why don’t you come to our house that weekend?” to which she replies “oh no, i don’t want to intrude on your family” you know, like a normal person would, to which instead of arguing the fact, Kirin goes “okay” and basically leaves her to be by herself that weekend. FUCK. YOU.

So because of this, he’s left completely alone the next Saturday.

Without food porn or the lesbian sex i'm soooo borreedd
Without food porn or the lesbian sex i’m soooo borreedd

Oh, and here’s the kicker. Kirin says to her that she can text her any time. So she does. And, like a true trooper, Kirin never responds. Wow. what a bitch.

Bored off her ass, the main girl decides to go to the library. arriving there, she’s filled with a wave of nostalgia as her grandmother took her there all the time as a child. There she learns that her grandmother was actually terrible at cooking for most of her life and only became good at it thanks to her taking care of the main girl.

to treat herself she gets the normal lunch she would always get when her grandmother took her out.

What time is it? Oh, I think you know what time it is.

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Yep. Food porn time. Damn it food porn! I’m trying to watch this girl be bored and feel nostalgic!

anyway, after….THAT she goes to the market to buy some things hoping to get fickle mcloser happy the next time she comes over. and unsurprisingly, after TEN TEXTS that have been sent to Kirin all day she finally responds with a “tee hee, been busy all day but I want to eat more of your food!” and for some reason this makes the main girl happy.

GAH! that's like a fucking yandere face there. don't kill me crazy food porn lady!
GAH! that’s like a fucking yandere face there. don’t kill me crazy food porn lady!

and that’s basically where the episode ends.

Honestly, I was bored off my ass with this episode. First it starts out with kirin being a selfish bitch, and then for the next five minutes it’s about the main girl being bored, and then finally going to the library and then the convenience store. I mean seriously. read that sentence I just typed. does that even SOUND interesting? If it does, then kudos on you. You are more easily entertained than i am.

Oh yeah, i never talked about the weird “eat my head” thing. Yeah. so apparently when she is thinking about how she was nostalgic for the food she ate when she was with her grandma she imagines those foods as old friends. why? goddamn i don’t know and….is she biting her head?

Yep. definitely biting a head
Yep. definitely biting her head

Anyway, this episode…it….the only thing it did for me was make realize just how much of a child Kirin is. She is extremely selfish and even if she does care for the main character, she sure as hell didn’t show it in this episode.

Normally, this show has a very soft, very slow tone, but with a jolt of energy now and then. But that’s only because of Kirin. When you take her out of the equation, it becomes very dry, and very dull. Sort of like Girlfriend but without all the different pretty girls to look at.

I understand they were trying to point out how nostalgia is an important factor with food, but my god. Honestly, when it comes to cooking/baking, Yakitate Japan blows this show out of the water.

The only way this show is going to get any points is if they drop the subtext and she and Kirin just make out already.

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You son of a bitch food porn doesn’t count!

I mean…this episode was just…bland. There was no substance. All you learn is that her grandma loved her and that Kirin can be a douche. That’s. about. it. Other than that it was like white noise. White noise that was intersperced with this show’s patented food porn.

Whatever. i’m done with this episode. Before i fall asleep or something. Good luck in next ep Berry. (goes to sleep for two weeks)

Episode 4/10

-Hideki