Madan No Ou To Vanadis Episode 9 (War Maidens R’ Us)

Things in this world just happen. Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, Vanadis has to be awful. It’s just the way of the world. I’ve accepted it, the whole world must accept it. Vanadis is a terrible, awful show, and it’s never going to get better.

That being said, let’s jump into the newest episode…off a cliff hopefully. So i can kill myself.

It starts off with the random war maiden that Elen has to go see owning both her and lourie. I laughed at the elen part. Not so much the Lourie part. (i assume this is a flashback but they don’t tell you)

She's gunna cut ya!

She’s gunna cut ya!

It turns out that she needs to tell them that ANOTHER war maiden is sending an army to do bad stuff. So Elen should go stop her. Why she’s attacking? Do you REALLY think i’m paying attention to that anymore?

Meanwhile Lourie is talking to Tigre. AW FUCK. i thought we could get away without him being in ONE episode. ONE EPISODE! is that too much to ask?!

He’s talking to her about whether she’ll help him out or not. She also works on giving him military etiquette. She tells him not to seem eager. He then begs her.

GODDAMN IT TIGRE! YOU'RE WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

GODDAMN IT TIGRE! YOU’RE WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!

But sadly instead of just killing him, Lourie finds it charming and agrees to help him. Well, there goes MY dream.

So now we find out who our next villain’s going to be. (deadpan) oh boy. who will our next awesome villain who gets an insane backstory but will die next episode anyway.

vlcsnap-2014-12-01-19h48m08s59

What the- HE’S NOT EVEN ATTRACTIVE! He looks like a fucking genie! God he’s so gonna die.

Another meanwhile (this episode has a lot of meanwhiles) Elen starts to fight the two colored eye chick and her army.

It could possibly be cool if it wasn't this show.

It could possibly be cool if it wasn’t this show.

So….is someone going to die here? NOPE!!! OF COURSE NOT!

instead. the double eye chick surrenders for really no reason and agrees to make a non aggression pact.

meme1

THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

That’s what they do with these war maidens. Have then come in, fight Elen and then leave. I….I don’t even know who this chick IS. She literally shows up, fights Elen and then makes a truce. There’s no backstory, no reason, she’s just kind of THERE. The only thing she’s got going are boobs and those eyes. And for some reason her dragon gear is a lightning whip.

So after….THAT we see that the genie bad guy is getting ready to attack. For reasons.

I will grant you TWO wishes. Because even genies suck in vanadis

I will grant you TWO wishes. Because even genies suck in vanadis

Oh. and um… Tigre had soup with the girl he saved from being killed/raped earlier. So there’s that.

Oh.... so THAT's what the kids are calling it now

Oh…. so THAT’s what the kids are calling it now

And that’s basically the end of the episode.

Let’s see…good things about this episode. Um…. well Tigre didn’t do any bullshit arrow stuff so that’s good! and he was in less than normal. Also good….although we do learn that his bow is Gary stu.

offf course it is.

offf course it is.

other good stuff…. um… OH! i learned that having two different eye colors is called Heterochromia Iridium! So umm…that’s good to know?

vlcsnap-2014-12-01-19h54m34s5

And now i know!

That’s…that’s about it on the good side.

I don’t understand these armies. They’re fighting to the death one minute and then the War maidens stop the fighting the next. There seems to be no rhyme or reason WHY these people are fighting and when they DO explain, they do it in such a way that it’s so dry that I DO NOT CARE.

I guess I can count my lucky stars with one thing this episode. Since Tigre played a much smaller part, I don’t have to deal with him and his bullshit a whole lot, which really made this episode less of a root canal and more of a filling. Unpleasant, but i don’t want to murder the world.

At this point, we’re getting to the end of the season. We’re 9 episodes in and it looks like they’re STILL introducing characters. There’s no way this is going to be a 13 episoder. There’s still too much they haven’t done yet. and that makes me sad. Because I know it’s not over yet.

I don't know how much more of derpface I can take

I don’t know how much more of derpface I can take

If you can’t tell, I’m not mad in this review that much. I’m just tired. I’m tired of this show. And without Tigre, it’s just a sad slow process where I know I haven’t finished it yet, but i must persevere. It’s like running a marathon and it’s before you get your second wind. Except imagine you’re running through a lake of crap.

Nothing interesting is happening. I don’t get or care about the things pimpleshoulder or Gary stu are doing. If they were to die I would dance and give this series a high score. But they’re not. They’re going to be happy and have magical gary stu Bella babies.

All i have to say is (mouth raspberries)

Episode: 4/10

-Hideki

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