Madan No Ou To Vanadis Episode 13 (Final Impression)

OH THANK SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS IT’S FINALLY OVER! This was the last episode, and I couldn’t be happier about this if I tried. And no. In case you were wondering, this final episode was not only terrible, but if you can believe it, even WORSE than a bunch of the previous episodes. Yeah, I know.

So the episode starts off with Tigre still being sad that Betrand died. This is literally the only time Tigre loses ANYTHING in the entire series and it’s his old manservant. To which he gets sad for a good few minutes and then when Elen says the word “Pride” he gets over it. Yeah..yeah don’t ask.

But..but..i'm sad!

But..but..i’m sad!

Afterwards Elen basically says “hey, you know, we could probably have peace talks with Sabertooth.” and they never mention that again. hmm..um..I guess we couldn’t have a Gary Stu murder if we did THAT.

The next day they prepare for the final battle (they actually CALL IT the final battle. good job reading ahead in the script guys) and the princess dons her battle armor and…

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What the- SINCE WHEN DOES THIS CHICK HAVE A HUGE RACK?!

This is her normally

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You can’t just DECIDE she has a huge rack when you feel like it. And for people who say “oh she’s binding” that’s stupid because now that EVERYONE KNOWS SHE’S THE PRINCESS there’s NO REASON TO BIND ANYMORE. adjlkfa

Anyway, so they begin the battle which Elen says “hey, i want to fight in this battle” which Tigre basically ignores and fights Sabertooth one on one. Oh, and by fight I mean one shot arrow kills him because he’s an overpowered gary stu douche.

Seriously. How DOUCHY does that sound?

Seriously. How DOUCHY does that sound?

This whole setup is FUCKING STUPID. First of all, Tigre’s all “Grrr you indirectly killed Bertrand” but COMPLETELY ignores the fact that Sabertooth’s mad at him for ACTUALLY killing his SON.” But Tigre’s like “nope, i’m right, and i’m the main character so i’m correct and i’m awesome.”

Sabertooth even SAYS that this whole situation is stupid and if he stayed at the capital which would have been the sensible strategy that he would have won.

Then why the FUCK DIDN'T YOU?!

Then why the FUCK DIDN’T YOU?!

If you think the episode is done there oh no. oh no no no. After Tigre wins the day with his magical bullshit they throw a fucking star wars awards ceremony (not even joking)

(Elen makes Chewbacca roar)

(Elen makes Chewbacca roar)

And they meet with the king who basically makes Tigre a SUPER knight. Not just a regular knight, but a SUPER knight.

Congratulations on being a SUPER knight.

Congratulations on being a SUPER knight.

and then we learn that people become that knight usually end up being king. So yeah. not only does he not have to give up anything, he gets to probably become king later. Fan-fucking-tastic.

And that mercifully is where the episode, and the series, ends.

This last episode was FUCKING TERRIBLE. I mean, I didn’t expect much. Okay I expected NOTHING but I did not expect THIS. I’ve made jokes in the past over how this seems like a very poorly written Self insert Gary Stu Fanfic, but my god. This episode only PROVED that. It’s no longer a theory, that’s what this was.

The main guy has one of the minor characters die, and all of a sudden gets the drive to defeat the villain easily. No big battle, just a single arrow and that’s it. If you were hoping for a long epic battle, then fuck you. Tigre doesn’t HAVE to do long battles. He wins instantly with this Gary Stu bullshit.

Tee hee, it's funny because his hair- FUCK YOU TIGRE. FUCKING DIE IN A FIRE

Tee hee, it’s funny because his hair- FUCK YOU TIGRE. FUCKING DIE IN A FIRE

This guy gets everything handed to him. at least 2 war maidens, the arrow power of god, and basically the kingdom eventually. We NEVER see him struggle for ANYTHING as he gets EVERYTHING he wants with little to no effort, and this episode was just the icing on the shit cake.

This ending was literally every horrible poor, terrible, childish, retarded thing I could ever have imagined. It literally ends with a parade with people screaming “we love you Tigre!” I HATE this character and this ending. In fact, hate isn’t even strong enough of a word. I don’t even know what i’d use to describe it. It’s so bad it actually pained me to watch it. I kept looking at the time code wondering when the fuck it would be over.

Tigre learned NOTHING, got everything he wanted, (including no repercussions for turning over his country to the enemy) and stayed the same douche he always did. Fuck this show, and fuck this ending.

Episode 1/10

Final Impression.

Oh? Oh you want my final impression? okay.

THIS SHOW IS FUCKING TERRIBLE.

It has been a long time that I have not only not enjoyed, but HATED a series as deeply as I have this one.

If anyone ever asks you what’s wrong with anime, you would point to this show. Every single thing about this show is awful.

The characters are weak and are totally reliant on Tigre (with the exception of Lourie), the plot is confusing and makes absolutely no sense, the battles have no tension whatsoever as we know who’s going to win in a second. Between Elen and Tigre, they can one shot every single thing that comes their way.

Not only is Tigre broken, the war maidens are as well. And any time they get in ANY sort of battle, they break off the battle before anyone actually dies and they end up becoming either allies or neutral.

Oh, that’s if they even INTRODUCE the war maiden.

Yeah, there’s something i’ve been meaning to mention for a while now. They keep talking about “The Seven War Maidens” and let’s see here. Elen, Lourie, Big boobed chick, Sick chick, sctyhe chick, whip chick, and two eyed chick. Huh, that’s only 6. What’s up with that? OH FUCKING YEAH. THEY LEFT ONE OUT

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Yeah, that’s right. they were so into their fucking Tigre Blowjob fest, THEY NEVER INTRODUCED ONE OF THE WAR MAIDENS.

I thought that was your whole schtick show. The war maidens? oh no. That’s right. your schtick was how many people could suck on Tigre’s dick and you couldn’t fit one of your SEVEN MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE into your fucking show.

If you have someone in the opening, PUT THEM IN YOUR GODDAMN SHOW!

I can’t believe I have to tell these people this. This is like TV 101. If someone is in your opening theme song, they have to fucking appear in the show. Fucking stupid pieces of shit it’s like trying to criticize a 2 year old who scribbled on the wall.

So many things are wrong with this show it boggles my mind that this thing could even exist. The fact that so much money, time, and effort went into this, and not a single person turned to the director or writer and said “uh, hey, this is a steaming pile of shit.”

This show should actually be in a museum describing how NEVER to make a show. Every single episode is painful, boring, and stupid.

All i’m watching is the writer masturbating to his own self insertion fanfic. Thank god for Lourie because without her there would be NOTHING redeemable about this show AT ALL.

Thank you Lourie!

Thank you Lourie!

I’ve already said my part about how Tigre is the worst thing to happen to anime since “Don’t Leave Me Alone Daisy” but I also have to say my piece about Elen.

Elen is a selfish, stupid, terrible character. She wants whatever she wants and fuck everyone else. She’s supposed to be in charge but will sacrifice her own men because they’re teasing a prisoner, she doesn’t care how many men die as long as she gets what she needs, and she’s a childish idiot who ruins peace talks because she would rather condescend Lourie for having smaller boobs.

She does not ACT like a war maiden and she shouldn’t BE  a war maiden. The series would have been much better if she had been executed FOR BEING  A TRAITOR.

This whole series is so mind blowingly BAD that I would honestly rather have eaten sawdust for the past 13 episodes worth of time. It hurt to make it through all these episodes. It was terrible, horrible, and painful. Literally the ONLY thing passable was Lourie. Without her, I don’t know if I could have made it.

The reason I keep lauding Lourie is because she is literally the only character to show emotion, character development, be fun, but yet also carry that air of being a War maiden. Something Elen fails SPECTACULARLY at.

Neither Elen nor Tigre get their comeuppance, in fact, they get REWARDED and that’s something I can’t abide by. This series is terrible no matter what way you look at it. And it’s not even a so bad it’s good. It’s so bad it’s fucking terrible. Fuck you show. If there’s a season 2, you can go fuck yourself. I served my time.

No Lourie, not even for you.

No Lourie, not even for you.

Head: I wish I could say there was a good series buried somewhere in here…but there wasn’t. It was nothing but a vehicle to suck Tigre’s dick. There was nothing cool about the world, the lore was unclear and sucked, and the plot moved with such cracktastic crap that i couldn’t even be assed to remember what happened in the previous episode. 1.5/10

Eye: The art was pretty good most of the time, so..really can’t complain too much on THAT (one of the few things) Art 7/10 (The pimple boobs were still retarded)

Heart: HAHAHAHAHA you’re funny. you’re really funny.     1/10

Total Score 2/10

LITERALLY the only thing that stops it from being a 1 is Lourie. That. Is. It.

So finally after all this time I can bid adieu to this piece of shit show. I never have to look back. Thank you to everyone who stayed with me through the crapfest that was Vanadis.

-Hideki

….

Hm? What’s that? I”m free? I’M FREEEEEEE!!!!!

 

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5 Responses

  1. Pixelized Pikale and Company says:

    “(1)Elen, (2)Lourie, (3)Big boobed chick, (4)Sick chick, (5)scythe chick, (6)whip chick, and (7)two eyed chick”
    Uh… you say that’s only 6, but, well, er… I really don’t want to be rude here, because I love your reviews… but that IS seven War Maidens. Your argument is kind of misdirected there.

    • Oki says:

      I think he’s saying there’s supposed to be a war maiden that’s in the opening but is never shown?

      • Pixelized Pikale and Company says:

        Ah, that makes sense… I avoided even touching this anime, so I have no idea what’s in the opening.

        • hideki sohma says:

          Ah. I see what I did there. I counted two different eyed girl and whip chick as two separate people. They’re actually the same person. my mistake.
          1. Elen 2. Lourie, 3, Big boobed staff chick 4. Two different eyed whip chick 5. Sick girl, 6. scythe chick.
          There we go.

  2. kashzero90 says:

    sorry for intrude..I read this light novel till volume 10 (quite boring compare other light novel) and i found it not about war..It about harem (which i like) eventually he(tigre) meet all these vanadis and it will reveal the secret about his black bow. I notice a few moment actually missing from anime compare to light novel furthermore at important moment..I afraid that writer are not capable to related the story very well..and only focus on boobs..

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