Oh boy! It’s my favorite kind of Amagi episode! It’s one of the “Fart around and not involve the plot” episodes! Hooray! And by hooray, I mean…I really really don’t care.

So the episode starts out at the pool area as it’s summer. Kakei is of course worried about the plot. Aka, getting more guests.

I worry about the actual plot too buddy.
I worry about the actual plot too buddy.

Then, because I guess this wasn’t enough to go on, instead of going to a cave to look for treasure, this time there’s a door underneath the park which leads to Maple land. It gets flooded and bursts open as, and i’m not kidding, pirates come out.

Because why the fuck not. Also, the cat thing betrays them to go work for the pirates. Just cause.
Because why the fuck not. Also, the cat thing betrays them to go work for the pirates. Just cause.

Wow, I guess it was REALLY LUCKY that on that specific day the park was ALREADY DOING a pirate themed event, or the guests might have gotten worried.

She might look cool, but she's the most uncharismatic pirate i've ever seen.
She might look cool, but she’s the most uncharismatic pirate i’ve ever seen.

So at first the gang tries to fight back and they lose, complete with Kakei getting sucked down into the water. Then the guests and the people who work there are their prisoners. Luckily the guests think this is all still part of the show.

The cat thing then makes moffle and the sheep thing both walk the plank into..weird…tentacle things because he’s a douche.

Don't ask, because no, they don't explain what the fuck those things are.
Don’t ask, because no, they don’t explain what the fuck those things are.

But of course, before captain personality gets pushed in, Kakei comes to the rescue, having taken over the ship. The pirates put up a fight until they see that one of the cast members is a shark, and they’re terrified of sharks.

Best...Pirates....Ever.
Best…Pirates….Ever.

They’re rounded up and basically told by Kakei that to make up for what they’ve done they have to work for the summer at the park for free.

Latifah apologizes for the trouble (as she had gotten captured earlier) but Kakei dismisses it because as he says “I got free pirates and a free pirate ship out of the deal.”

Quick Latifa! Have sex with him before Senta does!
Quick Latifa! Have sex with him before Senta does!

And that’s pretty much the end of the episode. Oh, and yes in case you actually gave a crap, Moffle and the sheep thing are fine. (Sigh) of course they are.

So what did I think of this episode? Well if you couldn’t tell from my sighing and my lackluster comments, I didn’t care for this episode. Once again we were brought to a “Let’s fart around” episode. I do not like these side adventures. I do not enjoy them. I checked and this series doesn’t seem to be continuing on to the winter season. The further and further I get into this show I’m worried it’s going to be a “read the manga” style ending. And those make me want to punch small children.

They do not have TIME to be farting around. Get back to the plot.

Yar, this side story be garbage nonsense.
Yar, this side story be garbage nonsense.

I would not mind this if the whole premise was just hanging out at a park. But the fact that they have given us a time limit to complete the goal, and how at the end of every episode they give us a countdown timer, I cannot enjoy these wacky random episodes. I get anxious every time I look at the clock and see that they’re just farting around.

Also, A point I have to put out there. For some reason they think that I care about the mascot characters. (the cat, sheep and moffle the bear thing) but I DO NOT. I HATE them.

They are annoying, stupid, and irritating. I do not think they’re cute, I do not think they’re funny. It isn’t saying that I don’t like ANY of the mascots. That’s not true.

I really do like the triceratops that hangs out with Latifa. He’s pretty funny and interesting.

You know, this guy.
You know, this guy.

The bear is a stick in the mud idiot, and the cat and sheep are both womanizing douches, and the cat’s even a traitor. I don’t get what their appeal is, but I certainly don’t feel it.

The more and more of these episodes they throw at me, the less and less I care. Please, go back to doing plot relevant stuff. I want to like you show, I really do, but…you’re not giving me a lot of reason. Leave the wacky non-plot relevant stuff to Denki-Gai.

Episode 5.5/10

-Hideki