Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso Episode 3
Although it was an episode full of adorable humor, it was also very deep and tugged at my heart. When Kousei opened up to Kaori about his fears and ‘reasons’ why he doesn’t want to play the piano anymore, the first thing Kaori did was scold him for being so negative and making up excuses. This girl did not baby him, instead she appointed him as her new accompanist for the second round of the competition, and alongside with Tsubaki’s help, haunted him until the very day of the competition and finally managed to persuade him after she shared her (emotional) reasons for playing and begged him to accompany her.
“So that people who’ve heard me, will never forget me. So that I can live in their hearts forever. That’s my reason for existing.” – Kaori
Kaori has a profound reason for performing. She does not want to be forgotten, she wants to be remembered. She wants to be that musician that brings joy to the audience she performs to. However, at the same time I believe her reason for doing so is also heavily connected to whatever reasons she has to visit the hospital. (Mind you while I am certainly tempted to jump into speculations, I will keep it to myself until we are given more information.)
It was amazing how Kousei managed to not give in until the very last minute despite that fact of how much Kaori and Tsubaki had been haunting him throughout the entire week. From ambushing him in the mornings, spamming him with the music sheets everywhere he goes, to even playing the Saint-Saens’s Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso (the piece Kaori was set to perform for the second round) on the school’s intercom/radio on REPEAT (how they managed to do that remains a mystery) for an entire week, (god I think that would drive me insane regardless whether I like it or not) these two girls were not going down without a fight. Kaori didn’t give up even though the second round had already began and she continued to hunt him down. After giving him a piece of her mind she explains her determination and reasons for performing as a musician, and begs to him provide her with his support in the moment she is about to about to lose heart. Her emotions was the breakthrough as Kousei finally agreed to do accompany her.
The thing is, Kousei is afraid. Ever since that moment when his world came crashing down during that critical competition, he found himself alone in the depth of the darkness where he can’t hear his own sound. And the startling part is, he can start off playing beautifully with all the skills and abilities he has, but then- suddenly out of nowhere he would freeze up. We saw that today after Kaori had succeeded pushing him to perform Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for these two little girls. He was playing naturally but then once he started to concentrate, the sound fades away and he falls apart. The saddest part is that he considers this to be his punishment.
The beautiful breakthrough (though mind you baby steps) for Kousei was when Kaori told him that he isn’t and won’t be alone. They have each other. The symbolism of Kousei sitting in the shade while Kaori standing in the sunlight symbolized her as his light that will help him escape from the deep depth of the dark sea. When he finally agreed to being her accompanist, he stepped into the light where he was no longer alone.
One last thing before I wrap things up. I found it actually quite interesting how Tsubaki described her relationship with Kousei as her hopeless brother that she has to look out for. It was also revealed that it wouldn’t bother her too much if Kousei decided to quit music, but she would rather him do so on his own terms. So it will certainly be interesting how things unfold since presently, Tsubaki doesn’t appear to have a romantic interest in Kousei, and we will see whether or not that will change. I won’t lie though, it would be incredibly refreshing if she never harbors romantic feelings towards him, but I won’t hold my breath for it since the odds of that happening is often times slim.